The Long Way Home
by SkaterSince2004
Summary: This is the sequel to my story "How they moved on". It tells the story of their way back home and back to one another! Rated M for language, violence and adult themes.
1. Tunisia

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

Authors Note: This is the continuation story to "How they moved on". This story is solely based on that, so I would advise anyone to read it first before reading this one. I hope there are still some skaters out there to appreciate this, I just can't get past the whole Suliet and Jate ending ... it was just downright horrible in my opinion. I realize this chapter is awefully short, but it's basically just me getting the story started, so I hope people like it and leave a review. So here goes nothing ...

* * *

Sahara Desert, Tunisia

Kate's eyes popped open, she sucked in a deep breath, and instant relieved washed over her when she realized Sawyers fingers where intertwined with hers. Automatically Sawyer wrapped his arms around her, and kissed the back of her head before he even bothered to take in his surroundings.

The ground around them was covered in sand. There were poles lining up with cameras attached, but besides that there was a whole lot of nothing. All in all it looked exactly like Ben had described it to them earlier.

Their hands worked together to get the knot untied, and when they did, Kate didn't bother to get up but simply just turned around, wrapping her arms around him and holding him close.

"It worked." Kate said relieved, her voice breaking up as tears streaked her face again.

Sawyer pulled back, one hand cupping her chin, tilting it up and locking eyes with her, "Of course it did." He then chuckled and said, "Didn't you know, honey, you're the 51 to my 15."

She smiled up at him, "I never heard that one before, but I assume it's like 'you're the mac to my cheese'?"

Sawyer nodded, not wanting to get into everything Hurley had said he simply replied, "Yeah, something like that."

"I got a better one though!" Kate smiled.

Sawyer raised his eyebrows, "Really? Let's hear it."

She grinned her goofy grin, the one that showed of her teeth and then she said, "You're the fishbiscuit to my strawberries."

He actually had to laugh out loud at that, then pulled her in for a passionate kiss. The kiss lead up and they finally decided to get up off the floor.

Both scanned their surroundings for a moment while Sawyer reached for her hand again and began pulling her along.

"California, here we come."

They had merely managed to walk a few feet when Kate lurched over and threw up. Supportingly Sawyer held her hair back for her, "'R' you alright? Is it morning s -" but before he could even finish his question he lurched over himself and threw up as well.

Kate straightened up and he did too as they looked at each other and Sawyer said, "Guess it ain't morning sickness, unless I'm knocked up too."

She sighed when the nausea had vanished as quickly as it had appeared and smiled at him, "I'm good now. You?"

Sawyer nodded, retrieved two bottles of water out of his pack and handed one to her, "Captain bunny-killer said we might get sick right after."

Kate nodded, took a sip, swirled the water around in her mouth and spat it out again. "Why do you call him that?" She looked at him and suddenly saw the reluctance in his eyes to answer, so she questioned him more directly, "Did you actually see Ben kill a bunny?"

He shook his head and answered, "No, I didn't."

"Then what's with the nickname?"

He huffed as he took her water bottle and packed them away again, "It's a bit of a long story."

She looked around and gave him a pointed look as if to emphasize her point, "We've got a long way ahead of us and have nothing but time."

But before Sawyer could even utter a response the sound of an approaching vehicle interrupted their discussion. Sawyer quickly stepped in front of her, his left hand reached for his gun while his right arm reached back to ensure Kate wouldn't step out from behind him.

The dingy looking pickup truck had practically appeared out of nowhere and had come to a halt right in front of them. Two men quickly stepped out of the vehicle and eyed the couple with the same suspicious look that Sawyer and Kate offered in return.

Seemingly unaffected by Sawyers gun the two men dared to step closer and one of them began to talk, but all Sawyer and Kate could understand was gibberish.

Sawyer and the men began trying to converse with minimal results, but Kate just watched on with her own gun in hand as she was still being shielded by Sawyers bigger frame.

She watched the men closely, wondering what they should do now. Who were these men and what did they want from them? Noting the cameras, she remembered Ben saying that they had belonged to none other than Charles Widmore himself.

Right in that moment Sawyer spoke to her over his shoulder, "I have no fucking clue what they're saying. You don't happen to speak Arabic by any chance, Sweetheart?"

Of course he'd meant it as a joke, but Kate had enough of this. They hadn't made it this far to be stopped now.

Without commenting on what Sawyer had said she simply stepped around him, ignoring the tug of Sawyers hand wrapping around her upper arm to keep her close, and looking right at the men when she said, "Do you work for Widmore?"

The two men exchanged a look but remained silent. Kate questioned on, "Penelope Hume?"

"You're wasting your time, they don't understand English." Sawyer exclaimed, waving his gun. "Maybe it's time we introduce them to this 5 mil, see if they speak that l-."

Sawyer's words were cut short when the men looked at each other again and this time spoke in their native tongue before one of them nodded, and with a heavy accent said, "Widmore - yes. Hume - yes."

"Son of a bitch." Sawyer cursed in admiration at Kate.

And once Sawyer had actually tucked his gun back in his pants one of the men retrieved a piece of paper and handed it to him. A note from Penny herself explaining that these men where here to help them make it safely out of the desert.

* * *

Sawyer helped her climb onto the bed of the pickup truck and then followed her. Settling down with their backs against the cabin of the truck, the older man of the two stepped to the side of the vehicle and held out a scarf for her, then made a gesture with his hand towards her face.

Kate briefly glanced up at Sawyer, then back at the man and shook her head, "No, thank you."

The man took in her refusal and looked at Sawyer for assistance, holding the scarf out to him now as he began speaking to him in Arab once more. "I think he wants you to cover your hair with it."

Kate scoffed, "Oh, I'm sure that's what he wants, but Ben said -."

"Ben ain't here, Sweetheart." Sawyer interrupted her as he reached for the scarf and nodded towards the man in understanding. "How about we forget what Ben said for the time being and instead listen to the guy who's from these neck of the woods."

She looked up at him, "It's degrading?"

"Says who?" Sawyer said, barely able to contain his amusement at her antics.

"Says me." She answered.

He smoothed out the scarf to assess its size and said, "If we were in the u.s. of a. right now, driving down a highway in a convertible, you wouldn't think twice about tying a scarf around your head."

"That's different."

"Different how, Freckles?"

"It would be my choice."

"Some women wear these because they want to, not because they have too."

Kate scoffed, "Only a man would say something like that."

He leaned in closer, "How about we burn the bras and scarves once we get back to the states, and for now we just try to keep a low profile ... you know, blending in with the locals."

The look she gave him expressed just how unpleased she was with all of this, but none the less she snatched the scarf out of his grasp and without another word tied it around her head.

Seemingly pleased with this the men got into the cabin of the truck and started the engine, while Sawyer tried his best to hide his smile.

"You know ..." she glared up at him as the vehicle began moving "... your blond hair and blue eyes don't exactly fit the bill either, not to mention that redneck accent of yours."

He pretended to be offended by her remark, obviously mocking her though, "Redneck, huh? Now is that a way to talk about your baby daddy?" Kate simply shrugged but couldn't hide the smile that tucked on the corner of her lips.

"I'll start looking for a hat when we get into town, how's that?"

Kate closed her eyes, rested her head against his shoulder, wrapping her arm around his bicep as she cuddled into his side to get comfortable, "Sure, but I doubt a hat's going to keep all these women from gawking at you once they see those baby-blue eyes and dimples of yours."

He leaned his cheek against the top of her head, his left hand reassuringly squeezing her upper thigh, dipping in between her thighs as it curved around her jean glad leg and simply rested there, his eyes shining with amusement, "No need to get all worked up, baby girl, 'cause my baby-blues will only be gawking at you. Promise!"

Kate just nodded her silent agreement and they both remained quiet from then on out.

The sandy terrain made for a bumpy ride, but Kate seemed to have fallen asleep almost immediately once Sawyer had scooped her up and settled her down in front of him with his arms securing her smaller frame to his in an effort to get her more comfortable.

Her face was buried into his chest, as he held her close. His strong arms held onto her, wrapped around her tightly, trying his best to shield her face from the wind, sun and sand around them. He squinted, taking in his surroundings, but there still wasn't much too see just yet ... just an endless stretch of desert behind him and ahead. But he wasn't complaining, no, not at all.

The two of them had gotten off the island again ... no, correction, the three of them did. He lowered his head, nudging her forehead with his nose. He needed to feel her skin on his, as silly as that sounded, in an attempt to reassure himself that she was real. That all of this was real! That he wasn't just holding anyone in his arms right now, but her.

Kate! - His Freckles!

And even more so he was holding his unborn child that was growing within her. Their baby!

He gently kissed her forehead, "Sleep tight and don't let the sand fleas bite."

* * *

Tozeur, Tunisia

Kate stood there with the scarf wrapped around her hair and somewhat pulled into her face. Her shirt that had slung open from her shoulders earlier was buttoned up now, concealing the ample cleavage her tanktop would have revealed, as she remained close to Sawyers side.

Sawyer wore dark sunglasses and a ridiculous looking hat that reminded Kate of something Harrison Ford would wear in one of his Indiana Jones movies. But Sawyer wore the get-up with the confidence that was to be expected from a conman when he rang the bell sitting atop the receptionist desk, ready to check into their hotel room.

The lady behind the desk turned instantly, giving the couple her full attention along with a curious once-over that wasn't missed by either of them. At that Kate felt her heartbeat quicken and cold sweat pooled in the hollow of her lower back when she was suddenly catapulted back in time in her mind, feeling exactly how she'd felt during her time on the run from the law.

And when Kate thought she would burst with anxiety, going over the words in her head that she was about to whisper in Sawyers ear ... 'We need to run ...now!', just then Sawyer turned his attention to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer. Her eyes met his and with just a look and a simple nod from him all her worries simply vanished and evaporated into thin air.

Everything was alright. They were safe. He'd keep her safe.

The lady interrupted their intimate moment when she held out their fake passports and the key to their room and smiled, "Here you go Mr. and Mrs. Dorf. Your room number is 51. Your lost luggage arrived just a little while ago and was already brought to your room. I hope you have a pleasant stay."

Sawyer took the passports and the room key out of her hands, but almost dumbfounded asked again, "51?"

"Yes sir. Room 51." She nodded and smiled her most pleasing smile.

Kate caught the expression that crossed his face, but she couldn't quite read it and it suddenly scared her because that reassuring look he'd just given her a moment ago was just gone, "Everything alright?" She asked nervously.

His eyes snapped up from the room key that adorned the numbers that had been buzzing around in his head since Hurley gave him that ridiculous speech about fate and destiny and all of that. His eyes met hers and he could see that same worried look from moments ago had reappeared.

With a reassuring smile and his hand on her lower back he led her away from the front desk, stopped just long enough to tuck their passports back into his back pocket, "We're all good, Freckles. Let's find our room, hop in the shower, order some room service and sit out the rest of the day until our flight out of here tomorrow. Sounds good?"

She sighed in relief and simply nodded, but as they walked away she couldn't help but look over her shoulder one last time, eyeing the receptionist who was already checking in the next hotel guest, wondering what had just happened that had him worried.

* * *

**End Notes:**

Are any Skaters still out there? Please leave a comment or a review and let me know what you think of this so far. Thanks for still reading. xoxo


	2. Charming

**Author's Notes: **Here is chapter 2 already. It's also rather short but i hope you like it anyway. I promise the next one will be longer. Thanks for reading. Also, I wouldn't classify this story as a crossover, since Skate are the main characters, but this is the first chapter that will mention a character from another tv show that apparently had played somewhat a part in Kate's life in the past ... please review what your thoughts are on that twist. I'm curious to hear from you. Thanks!

* * *

Kate looked over her shoulder and down the hallway of their hotel-floor, reassuring herself that nobody was following them while Sawyer unlocked the door.

Sawyer pushed the door open and held it for her to step in, following her in but not before giving the two numbers an almost menacing glance before he shut the door behind him.

She stood still and he came up beside her as both of them took in the room in complete silence. It was a nice room, similar to the ones they had stayed in during their honeymoon up and down the California coast. The walls were an off white and with the sunlight, streaming through the large French style doors that lead to the balcony, it gave the entire room a warm and inviting glow.

Without uttering a word he reached for the backpack that she was holding in her hand and placed it on the floor next to his.

Sawyer stepped further into the room now, his attention suddenly on the two suitcases that stood beside the white linen bed. He began fussing with the first one, but was unable to open it since it had a lock that required the input of four numbers. The second one had an identical lock.

"Son of a bitch." He cursed his frustration out loud and gave the lock a good smack with the palm of his hand.

Brought out of her temporary daydream about their honeymoon she quickly found herself kneeling on the floor beside him, "Let me see." Urging him on to let her have a go at it.

Sawyer stilled his hands and let her take over assessing the locks in detail, "We need a code, four digits, or something to pick the lock."

She looked up at him. "What could it be?" she asked, suddenly realizing she was still wearing the scarf and began to unwrap it and tossed it onto the bed. She tried to run her hands through her curly hair, but to no avail. Her long wild mane had several snags in it and was in desperate need for a good wash and a healthy portion of conditioner before she feared she'd end up looking like Claire in her island days.

Sawyer's voice brought her back to the current problem at hand, "Your guess is as good as mine, princess."

Forsaking her current hair situation, her hands fidgeted with the lock again, her right hand thumb changing the numbers with no particular strategy behind it, but the lock didn't give. "It has to be something that has meaning to us." Her eyes met with his for a brief moment, seeking confirmation from him.

He nodded, "You would think so, but then again, Ben always found a way to fuck with our heads." And suddenly it dawned on him that Ben must have booked this particular room for them to do just that.

"15 was probably booked up." He mumbled under his breath as he got up off the floor and looked for the minibar.

"What did you say?" Kate inquired.

"Nuttin', hon', just thinkin' out loud." Critically eyeing the contents of the mini-bar, "Want anything?"

She craned her neck to see what they had to offer without getting up, "I take a soda and ... and a candybar ... Apollo bar."

He retrieved both for her and found himself a couple of small liquor bottles, then crossed the short distance of the room and settled back down beside her.

She took the cold soda can from him and held it against her temple, closing her eyes and sighing in relief. Then she quickly put the soda down and unwrapped the blue candy bar and took a hearty bite from it.

Sawyer stopped and watched her almost mesmerized as she moaned in pleasure from the sugary delight she was currently devouring. "Hell girl, don't mind me as you're getting' off all by yourself over there."

Pink immediately rose to her cheeks and she shot him a look that was equally apologetic and embarrassed. "It's soooo good." She mumbled while chewing, and a tiny piece of chocolate flew out of her mouth, landing on her jeans. She swiped it back up and put it back in her mouth, grinning like a little kid.

Sawyer raised his eyebrows and grinned, "I can see that." He mocked her, "Hadn't meant to innerrupt your make-out with Apollo there."

She quickly finished the candy bar and took a sip of soda while Sawyer had already downed his second miniature liquor bottle, and now they both turned their attention back towards the locks. "I say we just pick it." Sawyer said but didn't move and merely just looked at her.

"Hold on. I have an idea." She began inputting a series of number on one lock and Sawyer mimicked her numbers on his. 0815. 8150. 3160. 0316. 0108. 1080. None of them worked.

They tried several varieties of his birthday, and hers, and their anniversary as well, but nothing seemed to work. At last they even used the numbers from the hatch, again in various ways. 4815, 8151, 1516, 5162, 1623, 6234, 2342, and then all of them backwards again but none of them worked on either of the two suitcases.

"I'll find somethin' to pick it with." Sawyer said, clearly losing patience as he was pushing himself off the floor.

"Wait." Kate grabbed a hold of his pants before he could walk away, "Let's just try a few more."

He watched on when she worked her fingertips to adjust the numbers on her lock once again.

0922. Click.

The lock clicked open to her delight and right away Sawyer adjusted the numbers on the other suitcase as well, but ... nothing. "Son of a bitch." He cursed for the second time since they'd arrived as he once again gave the lock another hard whack.

Kate leaned into him to reach for the lock, and quickly turned the wheels to adjust the numbers, altogether ignoring Sawyers words of discouragement as he threatened to 'just shoot the god-damn-lock' if he had too.

2004. Click.

Kate smiled at him and his jaw dropped open, "You've got to be kidding me." He muttered in denial that she had indeed solved this puzzle as well.

The suitcases were opened simultaneously by the both of them and the first thing they found were two large yellow envelopes.

The one in his hand read 'Kate' and she held the one that had 'James' written on it, so without another word they switched the heavily packed envelopes and ripped them open.

What both of them found were detailed instructions concerning the remaining journey home. Every little detail seemed to have been planned out precisely for the both of them, so it was to no surprise that the contents of the envelopes also included money, back up passports, credit-cards and driver licenses matching all the necessary paperwork and visas ... and best of all, cell-phones.

* * *

Kate nervously walked around in the room, glancing out through the glass doors, while she held the cell phone to her ear and listened on to the unanswered ringing.

Her first order of business was to call off the cavalry, otherwise known as Sam Austen, who had, according to the information in the heavily stuffed envelope, practically been harassing Claire and Cassidy in efforts to get in touch with his daughter. Making it very clear to both women that he was highly concerned about his daughters abruptly disappearance following so shortly after her husband's death.

Kate sighed and shook her head to herself, she should've known he'd be worried about her, undoubtedly so.

Suddenly her father's voice answered the phone, "Austen residence."

"Dad?" She asked, almost whispering. She felt goose bumps rise along her arms; she hated having to lie to him ... again.

"Katie?" He asked, suddenly sounding much more aware.

"Yeah, it's me dad." She answered, feeling like she was 15 years old again. She glanced over at Sawyer, who was still eagerly looking through his papers, and he looked up just in time to meet her worried gaze.

"Jesus, Sweetheart, where are you? I have been worried sick. I've been calling Claire and Cassidy. I've even been by their ho-"

"I know dad." She nodded as if he could actually see her. "I know, Claire told me. She really didn't know where I was, she wasn't lying to you, dad."

"So." He paused for a moment, "Are you alright, honey?"

"Yeah, ..." she wiped the tear that rolled down her cheek at the sound of concern she could hear in her father's question. After almost six years of no contact with her father, it hadn't even crossed her mind that he would worry about her now, and neither was she prepared for the onslaught of emotions that rushed through her when she realized just how much it meant to her that he did care about her after all. "Dad, I'm fine. I'm just ... I needed some time to think, you know."

"It's just." He sounded a bit confused, "Do you know what time it is?" He asked.

Suddenly caught off guard by such a simple question, she looked to Sawyer for help, but her husband was blissfully unaware of her current dilemma, she stuttered, "Yeah ... I know ... I ... I'm sorry." She said without the slightest clue as to what time it actually was back in Fort Irwin, CA, but she hoped her answer would suffice.

"Well, ... that's alright, I had to get up in an hour anyway to get ready for work, but why are you up at 4am in the morning?"

"I couldn't sleep!" she sighed in relief at the smooth transition, "And I couldn't wait any longer calling you."

"So, everything is alright with you?"

"Yes, dad. I mean ... as alright as things can be with my husband being dead." She tried to sound as truthful as she could and the way Sawyer suddenly turned his attention to her didn't go unnoticed.

He put the envelope aside and stepped towards her, but Kate took a reluctant step back and away from him, holding her hand out to keep him at bay and shaking her head vehemently. She knew if he hugged her now that she would just break down crying, and tears would be the last thing her father needed to hear as she tried to convince him that she was doing okay.

Sawyer understood, kept his distance, leaning against the dresser and folded his arms across his chest, unable to divert his attention away from her now.

On the other end of the line her father sighed loudly into the receiver, "I'm so, so sorry, Katie." He paused and when Kate didn't speak he spoke up, "I know at first I wasn't too keen on the idea of you marrying him, but ... but I know he loved you. He told me so himself."

Her eyes darted at Sawyer, who simply mouthed a silent 'what?' in her direction.

She shook her head and carried on with her dad, "Yeah, he did. And I loved him too."

Sawyer watched her intently, trying his best to get her attention when he pointed his own big thumb at himself, now soundlessly mouthing the word 'me?'

She nodded, but had to roll her eyes at him now when he grinned like an idiot over there as he pushed his chest out like she'd never said it before.

"Yes, Sweetheart, I know." Her father's voice was soft and consoling, and she could tell that he wasn't entirely sure what to say to her either. "Where are you?"

She looked around as if the room would help her voicing the lie, "In a hotel room."

"I figured that much, but where?"

She hated having to lie to him, "Oh, here and there."

"Katie, please, for heaven's sake tell me you didn't break your probation terms. Tell me you didn't leave California."

Pretending to be offended by his statement, "What? Why would you even think that?"

"Because you're avoiding telling me where you are and the fact that those tabloid rags haven't printed any recent photographs of you has me a bit worried."

She sighed, already regretting where this conversation was heading now, not only did she have to lie, but she had to implicate other people in her lie to get her father of her back and soothe his worry that she was in fact somewhere where she shouldn't be. "I'm hiding out, avoiding the press like the plaque, dad, and I didn't wanna tell you where I am because I knew you wouldn't like it."

Sawyer raised to full height and a worried look crossed his expression now, fearing what his wife was about to say next.

"But I didn't leave California." The lie left her mouth and instantly pink covered her cheeks again. She just hated this, she wished she could just cut this conversation short, but she knew there was no way back now. There was only one place where she could still find solace. A place where she hid out all those years ago when she was on the run, but her father didn't agree with that place or the people living there. In fact Sam Austen cursed the day he'd ever brought his daughter to that little town in Northern California.

Kate locked eyes with Sawyer while listening intently for her father's response. She knew her dad was a smart man and because of that she feared he was already putting two and two together, so she waited patiently for his response.

And then it came, "You're in Charming, aren't you? Are you staying with Jackson Teller?"

* * *

**End Notes: **This is not a crossover story, so don't worry about that ... and the Jax/Kate relationship is not going to turn into another love triangle either, I promise. But I'm curious to hear from any fellow SOA fans and what your thoughts are. Please review. Thanks!


	3. Strenuous Activities

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Thank you to everyone who had left a comment or a review for me already, I appreciate it so much. So here is Chapter three, and as promised a bit longer. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Sawyer was getting truly restless as he waited for Kate to finish all of her phone calls that seemed necessary to maintain the pretense that she was still in California. Kate only had one more call to make and once she got off the phone with Gemma Teller, to ensure her and the sons would back up her story in case her father would call there, it was time get cleaned up. After further looking through their paperwork, they discovered that the rest of the day had already been planned out for them.

At exactly 1400 hours sharp, otherwise known as 2pm, a car would be waiting for Sawyer outside the hotel to take him to a scheduled appointment at an undisclosed location, while Kate was to remain in the hotel and someone would come by to visit with her.

But for the time being Sawyer was trying to put that aside when he closed his eyes and let the hot stream of water cascade down his sore and battered muscles. More tired than he was trying to let on he leaned against the cold shower wall with both his hands flattened out against the white cold tile. But when the glass shower door opened behind him, he quickly stepped aside and made room for her.

"'Bout god damn time you got your ass in here girl." He drawled as he ran a hand down his face to clear his vision in order to get a better view of her naked form standing beside him now.

She smiled up at him, closed her eyes as she quickly stepped under the showerhead and remained there until her hair was thoroughly rinsed and wet. Sawyer pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her and she returned the gesture. Skin on skin they stood motionless, savoring the feeling of peacefulness as the steady stream of the water drowned out the rest of the world for the time being.

"Now that's better, ain't it?" He mumbled as he bowed his head down just enough to place a soft kiss against her wet hair.

"I was so looking forward to just lying in bed, relaxing with you and doing nothing for the rest of the day." Kate exclaimed disappointed but didn't bother to even open her eyes, her cheek was still firmly pressed against Sawyers chest.

"Me too, babe, me too." He agreed. "But truth be told, what I had planned to do in bed wasn't relaxing and I wouldn't call it nothing either."

* * *

Sawyer didn't like this anymore then she did, when he turned around one last time, "Keep your gun close by and text me every hour on the hour, and don't forget."

Kate walked towards him, "I will, and when I do you better answer." She wrapped her arms around him, "And I'll be here when you get back."

He framed her face with his big broad hands and kissed her, pulling away from the kiss he locked eyes with her, "Lock the door behind me, and don't open it for anyone unless they have prove that Richard send them."

"I will. Now go and get this over with."

* * *

Kate's visitor had come and been long gone again. She had ordered food up to their room, enough for him and her and she'd waited as long as she could, but when her stomach had loudly protested she had finally given up and ate. By then the food was long cold but Kate didn't think it couldn't have been any tastier since she had been at the point of starvation.

She'd paced the room for what seemed like forever. She had texted him and he had answered her back, his messages short and sweet and he wasn't letting anything on about why his appointment was taking him so long.

Kate stared at her reflection in the mirror. The wig she wore looked as real as it could be, in fact, if she didn't know any better she'd believe this was her real hair. It was straight and still dark, yet had a red shine to it. And her eyes ... well, weren't sparkling hazel anymore either, that was the eye color she'd always claimed as her own, however Sawyer would always refer to her eyes as moss green. No, now they were as dark brown as her hair used to be.

As she took in her own changed appearance her mind again went back to Sawyer. Assuming he was having a make-over of his own done, she wondered why his was taking so much longer. Despite her aggravation that he still wasn't back yet, she couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips at the thought of someone, man or woman, trying to convince Sawyer to wear a wig of any kind. But then again, he wasn't pregnant so he could very easily just die his golden strands to brown, shave his gruffy face and he'd look almost like a new man altogether.

But none of that explained that he still wasn't back yet.

Kate turned off the light in the bathroom and crawled into bed, but no matter which way she turned, she couldn't get comfortable.

She picked up her cell phone from the little table beside the bed, yet another hour had passed and it was time to message him again.

'I'm waiting for you!' She wrote, but before she pushed send she added, 'in bed'. It wasn't a lie; after all she was in bed. She just didn't mention that she was dead tired and instead of wearing nothing she was wearing an oversized t-shirt that she'd fished out of his suitcase.

Minutes passed in the dark hotel room and she stared at the little screen, waiting, wishing, hoping and eventually wondering why he hadn't texted her back yet, when the sound of someone at her door made her jump in surprise.

She reached for her gun on the bedside table and climbed out of bed.

She heard the lock click, the door to her room slowly opened, and Kate swallowed as she trained the gun on the shadowy figure that was slipping inside, but she exhaled in relief when the outline of the shadow turned out to be her husbands.

"James?" She asked, instantly hating the needy tone in her voice.

"Expectin' someone else, Freckles?" his drawl immediately put her at ease as she crossed the short distance and practically threw herself in his arms. He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her just enough that her toes weren't touching the ground anymore. "Hell, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you missed me."

"Shut up." She spat back, "I texted you, you didn't text back."

"I was already on my way up, so ..."

Reluctantly he let her go when he felt her arms letting go, "What took you so long?"

Sawyer stepped back, flipped the light on, and couldn't help but let out a small laugh when he saw her eyes go wide and she gasped in obvious shock.

Her eyes went from his arms back to his face and then back to his arms again, "Please tell me they're fake."

"They're fake." He stated, still smiling wide at her reaction, "You don't like 'em?"

She eyed him suspiciously as she closed the gap between them again and tentatively let her fingers run over the outline of the tiger that grazed his formerly blank shoulder."I don't know." She answered truthfully, because she really wasn't entirely sure what she was looking at. There were symbols and lines and creatures that resembled animals ... hell, even flowers grazed her husband's beautiful skin ... and no, she didn't like it, not really.

She realized she wasn't good at hiding her disapproval when he tilted her chin up to meet her eyes, "It's temporary, it'll be gone before I rise from the dead."

She nodded and actually smiled, because the thought of him coming back home to her was worth just about anything to her.

"So what do you think?" she asked, eyeing him closely to gauge his reaction.

"Not bad." He smirked, took her by one hand and made her twirl for him so he could look at her from all sides, "Not bad at all, Red."

"So." She smiled up at him, "Should I leave the contacts in and the wig on for bed?"

He shook his head, "Naw, I want my wife, brown hair and green eyes."

Her eyes sparkled as she sauntered off into the bathroom, strangely relieved that he wanted the real her.

While she was fussing in the bathroom, Sawyer untied his boots and toed them off, pulled the black sleeveless shirt off and unbuckled his belt to lose his jeans too.

Right as he was stepping out of his jeans, she walked back into the room, closing the bathroom door behind her and switched off the light on her way to the bed.

Her brown curls cascaded down her shoulders as she climbed onto the bed beside him and asked, "Better?"

"Almost." He answered and before she could inquire what he meant by that, he simply took a hold of the t-shirt she was wearing and pulled it off of her, "Now that's better." His voice was thick with lust as he let his eyes take in her naked state, perfectly illuminated by the moonlight that was shining like a spotlight through the window.

It was just a whirlwind of touches and kisses while Kate helped him discard of his boxers before he climbed on top of her. But Kate suddenly broke away from a kiss, "Your tattoos, are they -"

Sawyer interrupted before she could fully voice the question, "They said they won't rub off. They're sex safe."

She pushed him off a bit to look him in the eye, "You asked some Arab men if you're tattoos are safe for sex?" her eyebrows raised in a curious looking arch.

He chuckled, "No, babe, I didn't, but they spoke perfect English and they assured me they were safe - and I quote - for strenuous activities." The words were accompanied by an exaggerated thrust of his hip.

Kate in return offered him an exaggerated eye-roll but then smiled and relaxed back onto the mattress as his face hovered just above hers.

She whispered, "I was so tired before you got here, but now ... now sleep is the last thing on my mind." She kissed him and opened her mouth along with her legs to let him in. "Let's see how well those tattoos hold up." She said against his lips, he kissed her then but had to laugh into her mouth at what she'd said.

* * *

Kate awoke with a start once again ... it barely ever happened anymore, but every once in a while she would still have nightmares, even when Sawyers arms were protectively wrapped around her like they were right at this moment.

His body was still pressed slick against hers, and she could feel his chest move with every breath that he took. It was comforting to have him so near, yet she found herself lying awake for quite some time, unable to take her mind of the fact that tomorrow they would both board another plane together.

A plane that would take them to Paris-Orly, a smaller airport south of Paris, and from there Sawyer and her would get a rental car and he'd drop her off at the Charles De Gaulle airport in Paris, so she could board her flight back to the states, while he drove on towards Germany. For obvious reasons they would have to go their separate ways from there, and it made her stomach twist in knots having to let him go already again.

As she glanced across the moonlit hotel room, her eyes fell onto Sawyers stack of papers that were haphazardly shoved back into the large envelope sitting atop the dresser across from the bed. Just then a thought occurred to her, that if she had to leave him, she would at the very least want to know where he'd be at all times. It would definite ease her worries not having to wonder every night where exactly he was.

So Kate gently and quietly unwrapped herself out of Sawyers tattoo covered arms, snatched up the discarded t-shirt and tip toed across the room, took his envelope of papers along with her own and the pen that had the insignia of the hotel on it. She quietly pushed the bathroom door close behind, flipped the light on, pulled the shirt back over her head and settled down onto the tiled bathroom floor with the two envelopes in hand.

Still trying her best to not awake him in the room next door, she began looking through his papers in complete silence. At first nothing in particular caught her attention, as she jotted down the name and address of the hotel he was going to stay at in Germany, but then she noticed another address and name in Germany along with the photograph of a man she didn't recognize.

What the hell was this?

Up until this point Kate had been under the impression that she would take the quickest, yet safest way home to California, while Sawyer would find his way to south America and eventually Mexico until all the necessary arrangements had been made, to explain why he wasn't the man found dead in that cabin, but was very much alive and breathing.

Suddenly panic stricken she quickly looked through the remainder of the papers, finding more and more addresses of hotels, along with names and addresses and detailed information about other people.

Kate felt her stomach turn at the thought what this could possibly mean. She couldn't help but wonder if this was a hit-list of sorts, people that needed to be eliminated for the sake of the island and Sawyer was to be their executioner.

She shook her head and covered her mouth to smother the sob that was threatening to escape.

No. She shook her head, this couldn't be true. But the truth about it all just terrified her to the very core, just what Sawyer would do for her. Is this the new deal he'd struck with Ben? Was having to kill all these people the price he had to pay in order to come back home to her?

She straightened her back and wiped at her teary eyes, pulling herself back together the best she could as she noted every hotel address and all the different names and addresses as well. She then carefully replaced all the papers along with her own and silently crawled back into bed with him.

Lying there beside him in the dark, she watched him sleep. He was exceptionally beautiful, and even the strange looking tattoos couldn't take away from his masculine yet gorgeous features. Her fingers lovingly caressed the scar on his shoulder, a scar that couldn't be noticed anymore with the tattoo successfully camouflaging every aspect of it.

But as her hand lingered on his scared skin, her mind went back to him lying in her arms on that bunk-bed in the hatch. He was burning up and shaking from a fever that was violently cursing through his body, and it took all she had to keep it together then. But she did, she had to for him. She also remembered Jacks frown at the sight of Sawyer's head cradled in her arms, but she couldn't help the way she felt then any more then she could help the way she felt right now. The fear of losing him was too grand to hide.

Her hand moved from his shoulder to his cheek and she leaned in to place a small kiss on his lips.

"James?" she asked and he stirred in his sleep. A little louder this time, "James?"

He mumbled something incoherent at first but then sleepily opened his eyes and drawled, "What's wrong?"

"I think we should run." The words left her mouth instantaneously when she saw him look at her.

That woke him up completely as he looked over his shoulder towards the door, then quickly took in the hotel room with the fear of imminent threat, but eventually looked then back at her, somewhat confused, "Why?"

He propped himself up against the headboard while she sat up Indian-style herself and faced him, "I just don't want to owe any more favors to the island. We have fake passports, we have cash ... we could just disappear somewhere, just you and me. Leave it all behind."

He sat up even straighter and his forehead was creased as he tried to comprehend everything she'd just said to him. He glanced sideways at the alarm clock beside the bed; it was only 3:16 am. What the hell had fucking happened between the time they had made love and fell asleep 'till now?

Unable to make any sense of it, he reached for her hand and simply held it as he looked right at her, "What happened?" It was a simple question, hoping it had an equally simple answer.

"What do you mean?" her heartbeat quickened again just at the thought of lying to him.

"I mean." His voice sounding just a tad bit annoyed as he huffed, "One minute were screwing our brains out, then talkin' about how we're gonna get through 'till I'm home again and then you wake me up at 3am askin' me to run off with you."

She looked away, her chin quivered and she pulled her hand out of his, but he quickly leaned forward and reached for it again. His right hand cupped her cheek as he turned her face back towards him, "Hey, look at me."

She batted her lashes before she finally raised her eyes to meet his. "What?" she said, looking every bit the part of a pouting child.

"Fuckin' talk to me." He said in a strangely calm voice, and it suddenly became clear to her that he wasn't looking to start a fight ... more the opposite. Sawyer actually wanted to know what was going on. He wanted the truth.

She swallowed hard, her voice barely above a whisper, "I looked through your papers."

She locked her eyes with his, surprised to not see the look of registration and shame but instead further confusion, "And?" he asked.

She leaned forward now. "I know, James." Her voice was even and firm as she held onto both of his hands.

"Know what?" He asked back again, clearly not grasping the severity of her discovery.

Now a shadow of irritation began to cross her face, "I know what you have to do." Her eyes not wavering from his when she added, "For the island."

Sawyer leaned back against the headboard, wondering for a minute if that wig she wore earlier might've been a tad bit too tight and caused some sort of brain damage. "So?" He asked.

"So, I don't want you to do it, and I think we should just run."

He took a sip of water from the glass on his bedside table, "So you wanna run? From the island?" he asked and Kate had to be a fool to miss the amusement in his tone of voice or the smirk that was creeping across his face.

"It's not funny, James." She quipped back at him, clearly not understanding how he could take any of this so lightly.

"Oh, it's a little bit funny." He smiled as he scratched a spot on his chest absentmindedly.

"How can you even say that? How can you joke about killing people?" She could no longer hide the anger in her voice as she stared at him incredulously; wondering how the man she loved could be so coldhearted.

Now Sawyer looked dumbstruck at her, "What the hell are you talkin' 'bout, Freckles?"

"The names and addresses and pictures in your envelope." She answered, sounding hopeful that he was finally coming to his senses and show some sign of regret over having to do the islands awful bidding.

"You think I'm going to kill all of those people?" He looked confused but also angry that she could accuse him of such a thing. "Are you out of your god damn mind, girl?"

Instant relief washed over her features, "So, you're not suppose to kill them?"

"Absolutely not!" He stared at her as if she'd gone crazy. "Did you really think Hurley would send me out as some kinda assassin for the island?"

Hurley! Of course! How could she have overlooked the main man behind the curtain?

She shook her head no, "No, you're right." She seemed ashamed that she'd assumed such an awful thing from him.

"Come here." Sawyer drawled his demand as he reached for her and pulled her onto his lap.

Kate complied willingly and rested her head against Sawyers shoulders, too ashamed that she'd think so low of him, she couldn't bear to look him in the eye while she listened to him explain, "Sweetheart, they're all former associates of Charles Widmore. Each one of them has information that could - if put in the wrong hands - lead to the discovery of the island. So I'm suppose to find whatever they have and destroy it before they can all meet up and put the puzzle pieces together, you getting' me?"

She nodded and finally lifted her head to look at him, "I'm sorry. I -"

He placed a finger over her lips and shushed her, "Ssshhhh, don't worry 'bout it." He then reached for her t-shirt and pulled it off of her again. "Let's go to sleep, we've gotta catch a flight in a couple of hours."

Clinging to one another they closed their eyes and tried to go back to sleep again, but Sawyer broke the silence one last time when he asked, "So you would've left Aaron and good old Sam to run off with me?"

"To keep you from murdering someone?" She asked back and then answered her own question, "Yes, I would've."

He kissed her hair and smiled, "I'll keep that in mind."

"Go to sleep, James." She huffed annoyed that he could joke about this now.

"Yes, Ma'am!" He answered her and finally remained quiet for the remainder of the night.

* * *

**End Notes:**

Please take a minute to leave a comment or a review to let me know what you all think of it this far. Thanks for reading!


	4. You're it, Freckles

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Fluff warning ... hope you like it! Thanks for reading!

* * *

'Aeroport Tozeur Nefta' was spelled out in big white letters atop the building the pulled up to.

Kate couldn't help but notice as she stepped out of the taxi cab that the Tozeur-Nefta International Airport was clearly on the smaller side of airports she'd seen, but it was probably one of the prettiest ones too. Kate looked up into the sky which was as blue as Sawyer's eyes, and there wasn't a cloud in sight.

The driver unloaded their luggage and smiled rather pleased when Sawyer paid for the fare and gave him a rather large tip for his prompt and uneventful service.

Sawyer picked up both suitcases and headed towards the entrance doors. Kate had already given up on arguing with him. She felt very much capable of pulling her own luggage around, but this fight had already started when they were departing the hotel, and she'd finally conceded and let him do it.

There were still some aspects of the male psyche that she would probably never understand, especially Sawyers. He could be honeymoon sweet one moment and then turn into a complete brute the very next. And right now, he seemed to be a mixture of both, but in the most annoying way possible.

She caught up with him just as he reached the doors, "That was quiet the tip you gave back there."

He nodded, "Yeah, since it ain't my own money that I'm tippin' with, thought what the hell."

"Yeah." She agreed, "I guess."

* * *

The line to check in wasn't very long, and they found themselves with plenty of time to look through the little gift-shop.

They didn't really speak, and were rather cautious to not draw unwanted attention to themselves, but suddenly Kate turned towards him, a little tourist information pamphlet in hand and said, "They have a zoo here, in the desert, where they have a tame lion and you can actually pet him." Her eyes were shining with intrigue.

"Too bad we missed that." His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

She couldn't believe he'd just dismissed what she'd said with his sarcastic remark. "Come on, even you have to admit that's kinda cool."

He stepped a little closer, giving the pamphlet she held the once-over and said, "I don't want you lugging her own suitcase and you wanna go cuddle with a lion?"

"He's tame."

"Yeah, right." He actually rolled his eyes at her for once, "He'd get one whiff of you and pounce, and he'd hit the check pot – two for the price of one."

"That's just gross." She gave him the evil eye.

"Exactly my point, mothers to be shouldn't be hanging around lions, tame or otherwise."

She folded the pamphlet back up and replaced it, "I'm just saying, it's too bad we didn't get to do any sightseeing."

The sad tone in her voice drew his attention back to her, "You're serious?"

She just nodded and left the little shop, Sawyer followed her quietly, and when they found themselves far enough away from listening ears she said, "It would've been nice to be normal for a bit, just a plain American couple on vacation, instead of two outlaws on the run."

"We ain't outlaws no more, and we ain't on the run either." He pointed out after looking over his shoulder to make sure nobody could listen in on them.

"Yeah." She sighed again, but it was clear that she didn't share his thoughts on the matter.

* * *

Kate tried her best to seem at ease, but her nerves were getting the best of her as everyone was settling into their seats on the small aircraft. Sawyer stowed away their backpacks in the overhead compartment and settled down in the seat beside her.

She looked out the window, watching airport personal as they scurried away from the tarmac, and her stomach twisted in knots once again.

Sawyer leaned over her to see what she was looking at, "That tame lion out there havin' lunch?" He asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"I wish." She muttered, thinking that a lion on the ground would probably postpone if not altogether cancel this flight.

"You alright?" He asked, eyeing her concerned, "You took your drops this morning? You're not getting sick, are you?"

She turned her head and met his eyes concerned, then she eyed the other passengers before she leaned in closer to him and whispered, "You and I … well, we don't really have a good track records what flights are concerned."

A frown crossed his face now too as he glanced around for unwanted ears, before turning his attention back to her, "We'll be alright, don't you worry about that."

"How can you be so sure?"

He reached for her hand, as the plane began slowly rolling backwards away from the terminal, the flight attendant stood at the front of the plane explaining the emergency manual, he whispered, "The island ain't done with us yet, baby. I promise you we'll be okay. Now buckle up."

It was just minutes later when the plane started racing down the runway, ready to take off when Sawyer cupped her cheek and pulled her in for a kiss. A long slow, lip nibbling, tongue twisting, wishing-we-were-alone kind of kiss, and by the time he finally let up and they both came up for air, the plane was in the air and on course.

"Clever." She sighed, glancing sideways at him, realizing he'd simply tried to distract her.

"Thought you might like it." He grinned. He tugged at her scarf, "Think you can lose that thing now."

She nodded and removed the scarf, and ran a hand through her fake red hair.

"Looking good, red." He smirked at her.

She smiled back, "I just wish we both were home already."

"Me too."

* * *

Paris-Orly Airport, France

"We'll probably never fly again, this was our last and only chance." He said to her disappointed as he walked out of the building, keys to their rental car in hand.

She rolled her eyes at the fact that he still was complaining about her refusal, "It was a small plane, James, with just one bathroom."

"So?" He said, giving her a I-don't-get-it look as he loaded the two suitcases into the trunk of the four door sedan.

"So." She repeated, "both of us going into that small bathroom together … everyone would've known what we were doing."

"We're married." He answered, as he stepped to the side now and actually opened the car door for her.

"You always say that as if it's like a get-out-of-jail-free-card." She gave him an incredulous look now as she got into the car.

He closed her door and stepped around the vehicle, quickly getting in himself to continue this conversation, "Well, it sort of is."

"Hate to burst your bubble, cowboy, but we still have to abide by the law, even when we married."

He rolled his eyes at her comment, "Pretty damn sure that it only says not to smoke in there, everything else is fair game."

Realizing she wasn't going to win this argument she finally just caved, knowing there wasn't really any point to keep this discussion up, "You're right."

"I'll be damn, did you just say what I think you said." He offered her a smug grin as he glanced over at her. He then started the car, setting the build in gps to navigate him to the international airport in Paris.

"I'm sorry we missed our chance to be in the mile high club, now can we stop arguing about it?"

He put the car in gear and began to exit the rental car parking lot, "Sure can, since you asked so nicely, girl."

It turned out that the international airport was literally on the other side of Paris, even further outside the city then the airport they had just arrived in. According to the GPS it should only take them 35 minutes to arrive, however the current traffic situation proved otherwise.

As they merged yet again onto another overpass, he noted Kate's eyes following a sign that read 'La Tour Eiffel' alongside a small picture sign resembling the Eiffel tower.

"When's your flight again?" He asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over them since the bad traffic had started.

"Not 'till later tonight."

"What time do you have to check in?"

"Six." She answered, looking over at him and noticing his forehead crunched up as if he was in deep thought. He was silent.

The mood had somehow turned gloomy with the knowledge that they'd have to separate once again in a couple of hours, but thus far both tried to put on their brave face, but the look on his face had her wondering what he was thinking now.

In an attempt to break the silence again, Kate spoke up, "So, where will you get a new gun?"

Sawyer caught off guard by her question glanced over at her before returning his attention back to the road, "What?"

"A gun? Since we had to leave the guns behind in Tunisia, where are you going to get a new gun?" She asked.

"Richard." He simply stated, but then elaborated before she could ask, "He set it up, so that there would be one in my hotel room in Germany, taped to the underside of one of the dresser drawers."

Kate nodded in acknowledgement, but had secretly hoped he'd say that he wouldn't need another gun from here on out.

In the distance they saw another sign for the Eiffel tower approach, and just when the GPS spoke up with its heavy British accent urging him to merge left, he set his turn signal and merged right into the exit lane.

Kate saw this and spoke up, "What are you doing?"

"Takin' a little detour." He grinned, "You hungry?"

"I'm starving." She turned her head, looking back as they took the exit, "I figured we'd eat at the airport."

"I figured we could eat near the Eiffel Tower." He tried to keep a straight face, but all hope was lost when she smiled at him her biggest smile.

"Really?" She asked.

"It's noon now, you gotta check in about six, and we're right outside Paris. So why the hell not?"

Their joy was short lived when the closer they got to the city, the traffic had gotten even worse. When he saw a sign for a Parking garage, he took that exit once again and drove into the underground facility.

They parked and since Paris was a lot colder then Tunisia had been this time of year, they both decided to change. While Sawyer quickly changed into a clean white button down shirt in the front seat, he couldn't take his eyes off of her in the rearview mirror, watching rather mesmerized as Kate struggled to change in the small space the back seat of their rental car provided.

"Need some help back there?" He tried not to chuckle as he watched how she struggled to pull up a pair of thick black pantyhose while she was lying down, arching her backside up and off the seat in order to get the hosiery all the way up to her waist.

She caught his eyes in the rearview mirror and gave him her infamous eye-roll that he'd gotten so accustomed to before she answered him, "You wish."

He turned his full attention to her now as he turned in the front seat, watching as she pulled on a pair of grey boots and zipped them up.

"Ready to roll?" He asked.

"Yes." She answered as she grabbed a black Jacket to wear over her knee length dress she was wearing.

He got out of the car and quickly opened the car door for her, holding out his hand for her to assist as she climbed out.

As they walked hand in hand out of the parking garage, Kate smiled at him like it was Christmas morning, "I can't believe we're really doing this."

He tugged on her hand and led the way, "The guy down there said if we go down this road right here, then we just have to follow the signs to get to the Metro."

"Metro?"

"It's like a subway."

So they walked hand in hand, like a tourist couple on their honeymoon. People were everywhere, and the sidewalk was narrow. The streets were littered with trash, and there was a smell of fish so potent it could make your stomach curl, but none of that seemed to matter to them as they enjoyed just doing something normal for the first time in a very long time. Especially since in L.A. they were always hunted by paparazzi, so walking down a street hand in hand had never been a normal thing for them since the beginning of their relationship off the island.

They sure made a sight, Kate thought to herself as she caught their reflection in a display window outside of a small store.

Him so tall and broad, wearing jeans, a white long sleeve shirt with his sleeves rolled up enough to expose his freshly tattooed forearms. His hair was tied back but hidden under a black baseball hat that had a replica of the Jack Daniels Tennessee whiskey label across the front, his long stubble could almost be called a beard now, and still he looked incredibly handsome.

And she felt almost strange in the clothes she was wearing, however the goal was to not look like herself and deflect from the fact that despite the red hair and brown eyes, her face still looked like that of Kate Ford. So the clothes she'd found in that suitcase were, in Kate's own words, unpractical and nothing she'd normally wear while she was trying to not gain unwanted attention.

So she'd fished out a grey dress and pantyhose, which seemed stylish yet comfortable enough, out of her suitcase. But still, she couldn't help but smile at his and her reflection in the store window, because judging by her clothing, it just seemed like she was a different person altogether.

However it helped to know that Sawyer clearly loved her outfit. He kept on eyeing her like a starving man would look at a big fat juicy steak and he seemed unable to keep his hand off of her today.

After finding the Metro station, thankful for the helpful lady behind the little information booth they were now standing inside the moving Metro cart, with Sawyers arms curled around her waist pulling her back against him, as with every stop people came and left.

Their stop had finally come and after a long flight of stairs they finally made it to the surface again, finding themselves standing right in front of an impressive museum building, but from where they stood the Eiffel Tower was nowhere to be seen.

While Kate unfolded the little map she'd acquired in the metro station, Sawyer looked around and actually walked a few feet to see around the building.

"According to this map it should be right around here." She explained just when Sawyer called out for her, "Ahhm, Freckles."

She looked up and saw him grinning and nodding his head to his right, so Kate folded the map up and walked towards him.

"Wow." She said coming up next to him.

It was a bit off in the distance, probably another ten to fifteen minute walk to actually reach it, but it was the perfect view from where they stood.

He reached for her hand and pulled her along, "Come on girl. We're gonna go check this thing out."

They past the museum hand in hand, smiling like some love drunk teenagers as they walked across the huge platform.

There where people everywhere, some taking pictures, some just sitting and enjoying the sunny day. Others were gathered around street dancers performing right there, and even Sawyer and Kate stopped for a moment to watch.

Over all it seemed almost too perfect to be true, when Sawyer got his smart phone out and asked an elderly gentleman to take a picture of Kate and him with the Eiffel tower as the backdrop.

They walked the short distance through a park, then crossed the seine via a bridge and waiting patiently along twenty other pedestrians for the light to turn green, they crossed the street and were literally standing underneath the Eiffel Tower.

They were still in awe looking up towards the tower, but their joy was short-lived when they saw the endless line to get actually up on the tower itself.

"Come on." Sawyer demanded as he pulled her along to get in line.

"It's okay." Kate said, trying her best to not sound disappointed. "We don't have enough time, James."

Sawyer was still determinedly walking towards the end of the line with Kate in tow, "Who knows, maybe it won't take as long as it looks."

"Right." She said sarcastically as they came to a stop and claimed their spot at the very end of the line.

Kate started looking around, squinting her eyes, but before Sawyer could ask what she was looking for she spoke up, "Have you seen a bathroom?"

He turned and scanned around himself, "Can't say that I have."

"Well." She said, "I really have to go, you hold our spot here and I'll be right back."

As soon as she was out of earshot, he dug out his phone and dialed the only number – beside Kate's – that was saved under his contacts.

"Richard?" He asked after the phone was answered.

"James." Richard answered him in greeting. "What-"

Sawyer cut him off since he was pressed for time, "Listen, Kate and I need to get up on the Eiffel Tower, but there's a long ass line and she's got that flight to catch in a few hours."

There was silence on the other end for a beat or two and Sawyer said, "Richie, you still there?"

Finally Richard answered, "Yes, I'm still here. But I'm a little confused what the Eiffel tower has to do with your assignment."

"It ain't got nothin' to do with nothin'." Sawyer answered annoyed, "But …" he paused again and looked around to see if Kate was nearby, "… haven't you ever done somethin', just to make your woman happy?"

There was silence once again for a moment, and Sawyer held his breath, hoping that this time the silence was in his favor.

Then suddenly came Richard's answer, "I'll see what I can do." Click.

Sawyer looked around again for Kate but she was still nowhere to be seen.

* * *

Her smile was contagious, Sawyer thought as he watched her take in the view from the very top of the Eiffel tower.

"I still can't believe we're really here."

"Oh believe it Freckles." He pinched her, "You ain't dreamin'."

"It's scary how high it is." She said with astonishment in her voice, completely ignoring his pinch.

"Says the girl who jumped off a cliff with a fresh bullet hole in her shoulder!" He retorted with a snort.

She looked back at him over her shoulder, rolling her eyes, but Sawyer just grinned.

Her dress was blowing in the wind, flying up every which way, but Sawyer's hands quickly helped her smooth the fabric back down, as he stepped up behind her and then wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hungry?" He whispered in her ear, before he nuzzled her neck and kissed it.

She leaned back into him, her hands resting on top of his and she nodded. "I'm starving."

"Good, 'cause we've got reservations at the restaurant on the first floor."

She turned all the way around and looked up at him, "We do? Which one?"

Reluctantly he let go of her to dig his phone out of his jean pocket, pushing at the touch screen as his eyes squinted at the small writing, "It's called 58 Tour Eiffel."

She smiled up at him once again, urging him on, "Let's go then."

Tugging his phone away again he turned his full attention back to her, "Hold on a tick."

And before she could utter a response his hands were framing her face and he pulled her into a slow and drawn out passionate kiss.

The kiss let up and Kate slowly opened her eyes, looking up at him and blinked a few times as she almost tumbled backwards, instantly gripping his jacket to shake off the dizzy spell that had suddenly overtaken her.

Sawyer tried not to laugh at her reaction to the kiss, as he quickly moved his hands from her face to her shoulders in order to steady her and pulled her into him. "You alright there, Freckles?" He asked unable to hide his amusement in his tone of voice.

She closed her eyes as she leaned against him, still holding the fabric of his jacket in a death grip and slowly nodding against his chest before she answered, "Yeah, I … I think this high altitude is getting to me."

"Right, the altitude." He drawled as he smirked down at her small form, completely wrapping her in his arms, "And here I thought my kiss was sweepin' ya' off your feet."

A smile spread over her already rosy cheeks when she glanced up and batted her eyelashes like a shy schoolgirl at him, "Well, that might have had something to do with it too."

He snaked an arm around her waist as he ushered her back to the elevator smiling and drawling, "Your kisses ain't too shabby either, honey, but one of us gotta stay level headed this high up."

While they stood there arm in arm waiting for the elevator Kate turned to him, "James?"

"Yeah?" he asked glancing down at her.

"Nobody has …" she paused as her voice rose to a high pitch and threatened to break, her chin began to quiver and tears welled up in her eyes."Nobody has ever done something … something like this for me."

He smiled and rubbed her tears away with his thumb, "Well, Richy-Rich's the one who made it happen, Freckles, can't take credit for any of it."

"No." she retorted quickly, "He might've made it possible, but it was your idea not his." She leaned up on her tiptoes with one cold hand cupping his cheek when she kissed him.

"Thank you." She said misty eyed.

"You're welcome, babe." The elevator opened and after everyone had exited and they scurried inside into the corner, pulling her into his arms once again he added, "Least I can scratch kissin' the love of my life on the Eiffel Tower off of my bucket list."

She smirked now and her dimples protruded more than his when she repeated, "Love of your life?"

"Yup." He casually nodded out of the elevator to an elderly grey haired woman in a trench coat, "Kissed her when you weren't lookin'."

Kate smiled, playfully nudging him with her elbow and pretending to be mad, but he raised his hands in surrender while he was laughing out loud, "Alright, alright … no need to get violent. I swear she didn't mean nothin' to me."

She pretended to pout for a moment and he pulled her back against him just as the elevator was closing, his lips gracing her ear when he whispered, "You're it!"

She stood completely still as the elevator began to move, enjoying the feel of his breath on her neck before she whispered her demand without so much as turning her head, "Say it again."

A beat or two passed and the elevator was just coming to a stop when he leaned in to her once more and whispered, "The love of my life." He paused and then exhaled in her ear, "You're it, Freckles."

* * *

**End Notes:** Please leave a comment or a review if you got a minute to spare. Thank you!


	5. They ain't you, Freckles

They ate, they laughed, they teased and flirted, and they loved every minute of it.

But as time began to tick away for the two, Sawyer flagged down a not so yellow taxi cab and held the door open for Kate to climb in, before he settled in the backseat beside her.

The driver turned around, completely ignoring the honking horns of the other cars behind him and greeted the couple in French, nodding his head "Bonjour."

"Bonjour." Kate replied and smiled at the elderly man in return.

Sawyer just nodded in greeting and asked, "Do you speak English?"

"Oui." The man nodded.

"O-kay." Sawyer drawled and gave Kate a sideways glance and saw her grinning back at him, "We don't have a lot of time. We have to catch a plane." Sawyer tried to explain, watching the man's face for any sign of understanding.

The man waved his hand when he spoke, "You have to go airport?"

Sawyer shook his head and Kate did too, "No, we don't. Not yet anyway." He cleared his throat as he tried to think of what to say next. "My wife…" He began to explain and put his arm around Kate to emphasize his point as the man smiled back at Kate, "My wife here wants to see something romantic before we have to get on that airplane."

The man nodded in understanding, "La tour Eiffel … romantique. Oui."

"Oui." Sawyer replied, and Kate couldn't help but giggle at his attempt to speak French, "But we just came from there. Is there anything else that's romantic?"

The man rubbed his pointy stubbly chin in thought and then said, "Oui. Point des arts."

"Point what?" Sawyer replied.

"Point de arts." The man replied as he finally began driving, but seamlessly carried on the conversation with Sawyer through his rearview mirror.

"Well, what is it?" Sawyer wanted to know, "And how far is it?"

The man shook his hand in the air, and spoke with a heavy French accent, "Fifteen minutes." He answered and then said, "Pont de arts is a …" He paused trying to think of the right word, "Bridge."

"A bridge?" Sawyer asked incredulously, "What's so romantic about it?"

The man again seemed to think of the right words, and then said "_Cadenas d'amour_."

"What does that mean?"

"Cadenas de … love." The man explained again with his hand waving in the air to emphasize every word, but clearly unable to think of the English word to explain further. When he caught Sawyer's curious expression in the rearview mirror, he nodded his head enthusiastically, "Very … very romantique."

"Sounds great." Kate chimed in and leaned into Sawyer and looked up to meet his eyes, "We'll see what it is when we get there."

She gently leaned in and nudged her nose to his, playfully pretending to kiss him, but then pulling away again at the last second.

As the car stopped at a red light, the driver watched them kiss passionately in the rearview mirror as he smiled to himself and mumbled under his breath. "Amour de jeunesse" and returned his full attention to the road to get the couple in love to the bridge.

xxxxxx

A short fifteen minute ride later, Sawyer paid the driver his fare including a generous tip when they arrived at their romantic destination.

Sawyer and Kate held hands again as they walked towards the bridge, still curious why this particular place was supposedly romantic in the eyes of their taxi driver. However it didn't take them very long to understand what the man had been talking about, when they saw that the bridge was covered in Padlocks, each one adorning two names.

Kate smiled up at him, and he smiled back at her, clearly amused by the cheesiness of it all. As they walked hand in hand across the bridge, they both stopped short as they overheard an English speaking tour guide explain to her group of tourists, "There are two bridges in Paris with the locks, you must be very careful which bridge you put your lock on because this bridge, _Pont des Arts_ is for your committed love, while _Pont de l'Archevêché_ is for your lover."

"Guess we need to find us another cab to get to that other bridge." He said and grinned down at her, but when a sad expression crossed her face, he quickly regretted having joked about it and the smug grin disappeared off of his face. He tugged on her hand, pulling her along with him as he headed for the first little street vendor he spotted.

Kate trotted along, not sure where he was heading, as she looked back over her shoulder towards the locks that seemed to cover every free inch of the bridge. And it dawned on her then that being in love like this wasn't that unusual after all, because all those people must feel about each other the way she felt about Sawyer.

Just then Sawyer stopped and she focused her attention back to him, "Which one do you like, Freckles?"

Kate stared at the various shapes and sizes of padlocks. There were big ones, little ones, heart shaped ones, copper ones, silver ones, black ones … a vast amount of sizes and styles.

She curiously eyed the selection before her for a long moment, but then her eyes fell onto a used one and she couldn't help but reach for it.

"That one?" Sawyer asked surprised as she held the banged up lock in her hand. "It's old."

She turned it around in her hand, ignoring the vendor as he tried to get her interested in a new and more expensive lock instead. On the other side of the lock was a red heart, which had been haphazardly drawn on with a marker.

She smiled big and held it up for Sawyer to see, her eyes connected with his and he smiled back at her.

Her eyes were shinning and he could see it then, she loved that lock.

Sawyer's eyes met Kate's once again and, unable to refuse her, he dug his wallet out of his back pocket sighing and paid for a black waterproof marker and the used, banged up piece of medal.

xxxxxx

Kate smiled up at him as she took in every aspect of this very moment. Vowing to never ever forget how he looked and how she felt right now as she watched him.

The wind had picked up a bit, and his hair was disheveled, making him look every bit the rebel he'd like to portrait himself as, and Kate would be lying if she'd said her heartbeat didn't quicken when he looked like this.

Sawyer leaned with his back against the railing of the bridge, the lid of the marker held between his teeth and kissable lips as his left hand began to mark this old worn out lock as their own.

She leaned into him and tried to sneak a peek at what he was actually writing on there, but he quickly yanked his arms up so she couldn't see, but due to the lid caught between his teeth, he couldn't verbally protest as much as he normally would, just managed to get an "Nuh-huh" out and shook his head at her smiling.

He finally reached for the lid of the marker and closed it.

"What did you write?" Kate asked, unable to wait another moment longer.

"Pebbles and Bam Bam." He replied and grinned, "What else?"

Kate finally had enough as she snatched the lock out of his hand, careful not to smudge what he'd written.

She got lost in the moment as she eyed his neat handwriting on the lock, before his southern drawl brought her back to reality, "Passed inspection, Sweetheart?"

"Yeah." she nodded, "Thank you." She leaned up, bracing one hand on his chest as she placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

"You're welcome." He replied smiling at her.

They fastened the lock on the first empty and suitable place they could find, and Kate watched on as Sawyer drew back and let the key to their lock fly and disappear into the Seine River. She felt a strange pang in her heart at the sight of him doing that, and a sudden sense of déjà vu overcame her when images of him throwing that ring into the ocean flickered before her eyes.

Back then she had thought it was tragic, because he would've married Juliet and now thought he was meant to be alone. But knowing what she knew now it made the moment twice as tragic, because he thought he'd lost her even though she was sitting right next to him … but in his eyes she was unattainable.

"Hey." He caught her attention once again, "Everything alright?"

"Yeah." She tried her best to form a smile to reassure him, "I guess … I just hate having to go home without you."

"Come here." He drawled when he'd already enveloped her in his arms, kissing her hair on top of her head, "A couple weeks, Richard said, two months tops and I'll be back home with you. And we start over, clean slate, sound good to you, Freckles?"

She wiped at her eyes, swimming in tears again as she nodded her agreement, but it didn't sound good to her at all. Two months without him now suddenly seemed like a lifetime to her. A lot can happen in two months, for one she'd definitely be showing by the time he got back to her. She'd have a real baby bump instead of the invisible one that Sawyer kept referring to. And she hated this. She hated that every aspect of her life was always somehow based on a lie. She hated that she could never just have something normal.

She wanted a normal life, without any of this drama. No wigs, fake tattoos, and weird clothing and being careful not to be recognized. Not having to spend two more months pretending to be the grieving pregnant widow until her husband came back.

All in all, she was just tired, emotionally drained and exhausted from it all. She just wanted to take him home with her and pack up their things and run. Run to a place where nobody knew them, nobody cared about the O-6, or what they were now called, the O-9 and they could just blissfully and uneventfully live happily ever after.

They both took one last look at their love lock before Sawyer intertwined his fingers with Kate's and they slowly walked away.

xxxxxx

Kate stood there fidgeting with her passport and airline ticket in hand, moving just one foot at a time as the long line to her check in counter slowly yet surely moved along. She peeked at her passport once again, the new one she'd gotten the morning of their departure from Tunisia that showed off her new red hairdo.

Her goodbye from Sawyer had been short and sweet, because she needed it to be that way. She could see it in his eyes and the way his fingertips dug into her hips when he pulled her to him for the last time that he wanted to make it last. He wanted to draw it out, prolong the moment, his eyes flickering back to the car and she knew just what he was thinking too. And it wasn't like she didn't want to climb into that backseat with him again for another round, but she just couldn't.

Then he wanted to walk her in, to stand here in line with her, wait with her, and spend every possible second with her until that moment when she had to go through security and they would have no choice but to finally part ways.

However Kate had refused him on all that too.

"I'm not good with goodbyes." She'd said.

"Ain't goodbye, Freckles. It's more like 'Laters, baby'!" he presented his dimples then in an attempt to win her over while he brushed her red hair out of her face when she shook her head again. The longer they were dragging on about this the harder it became, and she just knew that she'd end up in a hysterical crying fit.

And that's why she was here now, in this endless line, by herself and the memory of how they'd parted broke her heart.

She could feel her eyes water up just then, and she frantically wiped at her face with her fingertips to keep the tears from rolling and destroying her make-up.

She wasn't a vain girl, never had been, but the goal here was to not stand out. She wasn't supposed to draw unwanted attention to herself, but that was hard to do now that the tears started to roll down her cheeks.

She quickly looked around and spotted the sign for the nearest bathroom as she tucked her papers away and grabbed the handle on her suitcase to pull it along behind her when she stepped out of the line.

xxxxxx

She dabbed at her eyes with a few paper-towels, trying to undo the damage already done to her mascara. The woman that stepped up beside her gave her a sympathetic smile and Kate suddenly felt the urge to explain herself, but refrained from doing so.

Her mind went back to Sawyer and their goodbyes. Two months without him seemed like nothing compared to the three years they'd been separated before, but things were different now. Everything was different now, she declared to the reflection in the mirror. The woman with brown eyes and red hair that was staring back at her clearly disagreed with the logic of why she had to go home now.

'_We're a team, I break the rocks, you haul them.'_

No. She shook her head to herself, disagreeing with that little voice inside her head.

_Just touch up your make-up and straighten up your act. This is what has to happen. You have to go home. Two months, ha, that's nothing!_

xxxxxx

Sawyer gripped the steering-wheel with both hands as he merged onto the main highway that would take him across the border and into Germany in a little bit over three hours.

He set the cruise control to 130 km, the allowed speed, and leaned back into his seat, trying desperately to relax a bit, but found it increasingly harder every time his mind went back to Kate.

Two months separation was truly nothing compared to all the things they'd already encountered and endured since they met on that fateful day in September five years ago.

_Wow! Five years ago … had it really been that long already?_

He began to reminisce about their first couple encounters … he would've sworn she hated him back then. And that first kiss. That had been quiet something, there was no denying that, and even though neither of them was willing to admit it, they had both felt something, he was sure of that now! She and that kiss had been something different, that's for sure, and like she'd said to him before, she wasn't like other girls he'd been with. No doubt about that! His Freckles was one of a kind!

He smiled wide, and his eyes sparkled with mischief at the memory of her elbow connecting with his jaw right after. Her defense mechanism … one he himself had used on countless occasions when the feelings got too real and threaten to overwhelm you , you have to shoot them down, make it impossible for them to nourish and take root and what better way to do that then hurt the person you have the feelings for. Whether an elbow to the face or some hurtful words spoken, both gave instant results.

His eyes flickered to the now empty seat beside him and frowned, and he couldn't help but recognize that pang in his heart as anything other than his physical reaction to genuinely missing her. Just then his cell phone rang loudly and interrupted his thought process as he fumbled to attach the handsfree device to his ear in order to answer the call.

"James?" Richards voice echoed in his ear.

"How's it hangin'?" Sawyer replied smiling before he carried on, "Listen, man, I meant to call you back to thank ya'. She loved it and –."

"We have a problem." Richard interrupted him, seemingly urgent to get to the actual nature of his call.

"What kind of problem?" Sawyer inquired, suddenly being brought back to reality that this assignment wasn't a sightseeing vacation after all.

Richard cleared his throat before he spoke, deliberately choosing his words the way he did, "For one, Mrs. Dorf did not board her flight back to the states."

"What?" Sawyer screamed out loud and the passengers in the car that was passing him gave him a curious look but he returned it with an evil glare of his own. "What do you mean she didn't board? God damnit, I knew I should've stayed with her." His eyes were already scanning the approaching sign that was signaling the next exit to turn around and before Richard could even answer him he carried on, "Who do you think took her? I swear to god Richard, if anything happens to her, I don't give a shit what Hurley wants, someone's gonna have to die and –."

"Nobody took her." Richard interrupted him again.

"What do you mean?" A twinge of relief yet confusion could be heard in his voice.

"I mean that there's just been a charge for a rental car made to her credit card and I'm looking at security camera footage of her signing for the car and taking the key right now. She seems perfectly fine to me."

Sawyer was speechless.

"James?"

"So lemme get this straight, Sherlock Holmes. You're sayin' she didn't board the fucking flight on purpose? She went and got a god damn rental car?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so." Richard said.

"She's still at the rental car place?" Sawyer angrily inquired, he couldn't believe it.

"Hold on." Richard answered him, then Sawyer overheard Richards's conversation with someone, only making out bits and pieces before Richard got back to him, "No, she just pulled out but according to her GPS, she's heading for your hotel in Germany."

"Fuck!" was all Sawyer could reply to that, he was completely blindsided by Kate's latest actions, he honestly didn't know what to do or say, but thankfully Richard did.

"There should be a Rest stop coming up, I want you to pull into there, but make sure you have cell phone reception. Then wait for further instructions."

"Further instructions? What the hell's that suppose to mean? What are you goin' to do?" Sawyer scoffed back, his patience suddenly running thin.

Richard sighed in annoyance at being questioned and finding himself the sudden target of Sawyers anger, but answered none the less, "We're tracking her."

"Tracking her how?"

"The rental car company has tracking devices installed on all their vehicles, and at the same time I have someone trying to further hack into her GPS as we speak. We'll reroute her, so she'll pull into the same Rest stop where you'll be at, and you can take it from there. Like I said, stay by the phone, I'll call you soon and keep you posted."

"You got it, boss." Sawyer replied, then hung up and sighed in resignation as he merged right onto the exit lane of the Rest stop ahead of him.

xxxxxx

Kate gripped the steering wheel of her rental car with both hands. Her heartbeat picked up every time she let herself think of how he would react.

_Ohhhhh, he's going to be so freaking mad._

Surely, he'd be mad at first. No doubt this would incinerate a verbal fight of epic proportions, but before the night was over she'd probably find a way to get back into his good graces. At least she hoped so.

She wasn't quite sure yet what she was going to say to him. How do you explain something that you can't fully understand yourself? All she knew was that every fiber in her body told her to go after him and to not get on that plane. And yes, in the past, while on the run, her intuition had often gotten her in more trouble then she'd like to admit out loud, but this time was different. For the first time this wasn't just about herself anymore. Sawyer, this baby and her were a family now. She was doing this because she couldn't just leave him to fend for himself … after all, they were a team!

She took in a deep breath, trying to calm her own nerves and forced herself to smile. At least she'd have well over three more hours of travel time before she'd reach his hotel in Germany. That ought to be more than enough time for her to think of something to say.

Just then the voice from her GPS spoke up and surprised her when it announced for her to take the next exit at 2.0 kilometers.

She furrowed her brows at that and stared at the GPS for a moment before she returned her attention back to the road ahead. She could've sworn she was supposed to stay on this Highway for at least 300 more kilometers.

Her finger dapped at the touch screen and quickly tried to reset it again but nothing happened, the screen was frozen and wouldn't let her change anything. She sighed frustrated as the voice spoke up once more urging her to merge right and exit onto none other than a Rest stop of all places, but she obliged with the thought in mind that she would be able to reset the darn thing without causing an accident.

It was close to seven thirty by now and had already gotten dark when she pulled her car over onto one of the parking spots. She immediately went to work on the GPS, but it still didn't respond. And just as she leaned over onto the passenger side to look for a manual in the clove department the drivers- side door was pulled open violently fast and she found herself staring at none other than her husband.

"James?" She stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Get out." He gruffly replied and grabbed her forearm to pull her out of her seat, a stony expression on his face.

She knew better than to argue, quickly gathered her purse and got out of the car. He let go of her arm just then, his hand moving to her lower back as he wordlessly ushered her over to his car, opened his passenger door and then angrily demanded, "Get in!."

She tried to meet his eyes but he avoided her gaze like the plague as she quietly got into his car and he harshly closed the door before he walked back over to her car. Kate watched in awe as he grabbed the rest of her belongings from her rental car, before he opened up a pocket knife and quickly deflated the rear tire.

She followed his every movement, glancing back over her own shoulder to watch him pop the trunk, stowing her suitcase away, then the trunk was shut with a loud angry bang and within seconds he was in the seat beside her.

She looked at him, but he still wouldn't look at her. "James, I –." Her plea for forgiveness was cut short by his angry voice.

"Don't." Was all he said, but the tone and the look he'd given her was enough for her to realize she would better remain quiet for a while, so she did.

xxxxxx

The silence in the car was deafening. She hadn't tried to explain any further after they'd gotten back on the road, just watched him out of the corner of her eye while he tried his best to ignore her. Kate wondered when it would be a good time to try again, but if the way his jaw was still clenched was any indication that time hadn't come just yet.

So she sat and waited until he merged into the exit late towards a gas station. He pulled up to the pump, got out and began to fill the tank when Kate opened her door and got out.

"What the hell you think you're doing?" He scolded her before she could speak.

"I have to use the restroom." She said, and his attitude was beginning to get on her nerves which caused her to snap back at him, "Do you mind?"

"Yeah, actually I fucking do mind." He retorted then, right when the pump shut off, signaling the tank was full.

Kate now stepped to the back of the car and crossed her arms in front of herself, "If you would just let me explain why–."

"Ain't nothin' to explain, Kate." He huffed as he placed the nozzle back and closed the tank, "You gotta pee, you'll have to wait a fuckin' second because apparently you can't be fuckin' trusted to do anything on your own."

She didn't wait for him to say another word, just turned on her heel and walked towards the gas station. Yeah, he might have a right to be pissed off at her but she'd not let him talk to her like that.

"Hey. Heeeeyyyyyy. Stop!" He yelled after her then, as he reached into the car to get the key out, but she had already disappeared through the double sliding doors of the building.

xxxxxx

Kate washed her hand and stared at her own reflection in the mirror again. Last time she'd done that she'd come to the decision to go after him, but now she began to question her decision making skills while staring at herself crying.

Damnit, she was in fact crying again … how on earth was she going to stand all those freaking hormones for the next seven or eight months.

And the nerve of him? Who the hell did he think he was? If he thought for one minute that he could keep on treating her that way, then he would just have to wait and see. After all, she had her ID, her own credit card, her own cash. She could very easily sneak out of here, hitch a ride with someone and then he would feel like the biggest asshole for talking to her like had.

She shook her head just then, realizing that this was exactly he'd said to her after all. That she couldn't be trusted.

_Damnit, did he have to be right about everything?_

She straightened herself up then and stepped out of the bathroom door and found Sawyer standing there waiting. "Thought you fell in and drowned." He joked, but she just glanced around, realizing that the men's room was on the other end of this hallway, so he was literally standing guard for her … that son of a bitch.

Two can play that game she thought quickly as she walked right past him without a look or a word and headed for refrigerated drinks.

Sawyer obviously picked up on her demeanor because he couldn't help himself but mock her, "Oh, so you ain't talkin' to me now, like I'm the fucking bad guy here?"

She reached for a chilled bottle of coke then and gave him a smug grin, "If the shoe fits."

He snatched the bottle out of her hand and put it back, leaving her stunt and looking at him as if he'd lost his mind, "What the –."

He cut her off, "Caffeine's bad for the squirt." Then reached in and retrieved a bottle of strawberry milk and handed it to her. "It's in the book."

"Oh." She answered, her cheeks flushing with shame at the fact that she was utterly unaware of that as she took the bottle of milk from him.

Kate browsed the little store pilling several candy bars into her arms while Sawyer tried to figure out the coffee machine to get him a cup, until they both got in line at the register.

Kate's eyes traveled over the vast display of Paris memorabilia. After readjusting the candy bars on one arm, she picked several items up for further inspection while Sawyer watched her curiously. She held the miniature Eiffel tower in her hand for the longest time before eventually setting it back down with a sad expression on her face.

It was his turn and he stepped up, placing his little cup of coffee on the counter, he told the lady the number of the gas pump, but when he realized Kate hadn't stepped up to get her things rung up he turned and looked at her, "What'cha waiting on, Freckles?"

"I got my own money." She quipped back smugly as if she was buying a diamond ring or something of equal value, instead of a drink and a few pieces of candy.

Sawyer sighed and rolled his eyes at her in a dramatic gesture before he pulled all of her things from her grasp and placed them in front of the cashier with a clank. The lady eyed them both curiously but then began to scan everything, when Sawyer stepped to the side and grabbed the miniature tower, adding it to the tab before the final tally had been done.

His face was a stone wall once again while Kate fought with herself not to smile at the gesture.

They walked back out to the car side by side and got in wordlessly.

But just when she thought this had been some sort of truce, he finally lost his cool and snapped at her. "What would you have done if it hadn't been me?"

"What?" she looked at him bewildered.

"At the rest stop!" He stared at her, "You didn't even notice my car there when you pulled up. Didn't even bother to look around. What if it hadn't been me, babe?" He scolded her.

She looked away now, not entirely sure of what to say since he had indeed completely caught her off guard back at the Rest stop and now again with this question.

But he berated on, "What would'cha have done? Shoot me with the gun you don't have, stab me with the knife you don't have?"

"I have my ways." She retorted.

"Well, Sweetcheeks, a head butt or a kick to the balls can only stall a guy for so long before he throws you in his trunk and takes you out to the middle of fucking nowhere to have his way with you." He scolded as he took in the shocked expression on her face. "Don't give me that look, honey, you know I'm fucking right. You should've been more careful or even better." He paused to start the car, "You should've been on that god damn plane back to the states, safe and sound."

Silence filled the car once again when he pulled back onto the highway towards Germany.

Kate sat there, staring out her window trying her best to ignore him now as she was trying to think of an adequate comeback for everything he'd said.

Yeah he was probably right about what he'd said. She had in fact let down her guard, but then again she'd just simply been overcome by this false sense of normality. The thing she had wanted, to be normal for a while and she had felt that, as strange as it sounded, when she got that rental car with her fake ID and fake credit card to get on the road to meet her husband – Mr. Dorf – at a hotel in Germany. It all seemed like something normal people would do.

So yes, she'd gotten caught up in the moment, caught up in just wanting to see him, caught up in the fact that for once nobody was after her, that she'd forgotten that above all else she was still a woman in a man's world! But hell would freeze over before she'd admit that to Sawyer.

So instead she finally retorted, "You're overreacting. I'm not the only woman traveling alone. We're in the twenty-first century, Women travel alone all the time, James."

He sighed exasperatedly, but when he spoke his voice was suddenly sounding a lot calmer than before, "But they ain't you, Freckles and I ain't in love with any of them!"

xxxxxx

**End Note****: **I'm so sorry for the long wait. This chapter was for some reason incredibly hard to write ... I think mostly because I was not truly convinced myself that letting Kate stay behind was the right decision to make, so the entire time I'm writing and rewriting this I'm second guessing myself. What did you all think? Was it better to have her stay with him? Curious what y'all are thinking of this so far, so please comment, rate, review if you got a minute to spare. Thank you so much for still reading. xoxo

P.S. I've added some Skate Manips on the following website:


	6. I'm not some fragile being

Kate closed the bathroom door behind her and turned to look at herself in the mirror. By now it was close to midnight and after the early flight from Tunisia, the sightseeing in Paris and the long drive into Germany she felt sheer exhaustion taking over.

She placed her personal hygiene bag onto the bathroom counter, quickly undressed, leaving her clothes in a heap on the tiled floor and began to rifle through her bag, retrieving things she needed to get ready to call it a night.

Meanwhile in the other room, Sawyer slumped down onto the queen size bed, stretching his arms up overhead he groaned and sighed, before he yawned wide and audibly. Glancing to the closed bathroom door he shook his head in disbelieve at what had transpired with Kate earlier tonight. Of course the one time he wanted her to run she stayed.

With another loud yawn he began to toe off his shoes, pulled his shirt off and pushed himself off of the bed to undo his jeans. The fabric quickly pooled by his feet and he simply stepped out of them before he reached down and pulled off his socks, one by one, on his way to the taunting closed bathroom door.

His knuckles rapped along the white wooden surface, "Hey, you almost done in there?"

The funny looking door handle moved and the door creaked open just an inch before he heard her answer, "You can come in."

Pulling the door all the way open now, he eyed her standing there in just her bra and panties, and despite the fact that he should've been mad at her, he couldn't help but appreciate the sight in front of him.

She glanced at him for a moment, taking in his state of undress as well. It still amazed her that after all this time they'd been together her heartbeat still quickened at the sight of him in nothing but a pair of boxers, but Kate quickly reminded herself that they had been mad at each other for most of the night and just because he was tall, brawny and deliciously tanned didn't change that one bit.

She had made up her mind on the long and silence filled ride into Germany that she would not – under no circumstances – have sex with him tonight. And with that last thought in mind she turned up her nose and decided it was best to not watch him.

However, that was easier said than done. He went on, flossing his teeth, brushing his teeth … and even thought it might have only been five minutes but to Kate it seemed like a never-ending display of different muscles at work. And against her better judgment she couldn't help but occasionally notice said muscles in his chest and arms and abdomen flex and release and in turn do all kinds of wonderful yet stomach-flipping things to her insides while she was brushing her own teeth.

Kate ignored him then, she wanted to take a quick shower and after she'd already discarded her red haired wig she went on to remove her contacts when she heard him curse.

"Son of a bitch." He exclaimed and began rubbing his eye, and Kate immediately knew what was wrong before he went on to complain and ask, "How the hell do you get those things out?"

She sighed and remained clued to her spot away from him for a long moment, but the way he was rubbing his eye combined with how incredibly low those damn boxer shorts where sitting on his hips she just couldn't bring herself to not help him.

Seconds later she found herself right next to him, reaching for his hands, "Stop rubbing it, you won't get it out like that."

"Hell, that fucker stings like a bitch, I gotta get it out."

She rolled her eyes at his antics, "It's just a contact lens, James." She pulled him deeper into the bathroom, ushering him to take a seat on the closed toilet lid, and in her most soothing motherly tone of voice said, "Let me take a look."

Standing in front of him, in between his knees as he craned his neck to look up she shushed his hands away from his eye time and again before she could finally get a good look at it herself, "It's folded in half." She tried not to giggle, "How did you do that?" A big smile displayed on her face.

"Well, I'm glad you're havin' a good ol' time with this." He scolded sarcastically as he closed his eyes again and began rubbing once more.

"You gotta quit doing that." She scolded him in return as she swatted his hands away and tilted his head up again, "Just keep your hand away and I'll get it out for you."

Without missing a beat both his hands settled on her hips. Goosebumbs formed instantly from the contact and Kate couldn't help but comment, "What do you think you're doing?"

A innocent shrug of his tense shoulders and grin on his lips, "Waitin' for you to get that damn contact out, what do you think I'm doin?"

Kate began prying his eye open with the thumb and index-finger of her left hand and was just about to reach in to retrieve the contact when his hands traveled a bit lower and both his thumbs hooked into the seam of her panties as if he was about to pull them off of her. "Unless you wanna lose an eye, cowboy, I'd stop that."

"Stop what?" He asked trying to sound innocent and Kate was somewhat amazed how anyone can look this smug and sound this smug while his head was angled up in such an awkward position and his eye was being pried open.

"You know what!" she countered and with a quick move of her fingers she managed to retrieve the contact lens for him.

Sawyer blinked a few times, "Can you get the other one too while you're at it?"

"Admit it. You need me?" She said in a no joking manner, but before he could reply she added, "What would you have done if I hadn't been here." And with that she triumphantly held the second contact lens out to him as she took a step back and out of his prying hands.

"I would've gotten that bastard out, one way or another." He grumpily replied, not liking that she actually had a valid point.

"Right." She scoffed as she turned to discard the lenses into the trashcan, "Same way you got that bullet out of your shoulder, which ended up getting infected and almost killing you."

"What almost killed me was the fact that I got shot with no damn doctor in sight, it wasn't the way I got the bullet out, Sweetheart." He snapped back sounding angry all over again as he got up from the seat and advanced on her.

Pinning her from behind to the sink, his eyes connected with hers in the mirror, "You're getting on that plane tomorrow!"

Her eyes challenged him, "No, I am not." And with that she pushed her backside into him just hard enough to give herself enough room to turn around and out of his grasp.

Slowly and collected Kate walked over to the shower and turned it on, but before undressing completely she turned towards him, "Do you mind?"

Making clear he had no intentions to leave the bathroom now, he leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms in front of his chest and his trademark sleazy grin spread across his face – dimples and all – before he answered, "Actually I don't mind at all, Freckles."

She turned away from him before she rolled her eyes, not even wanting to give him the satisfaction at seeing her annoyance, but then simply reached behind herself to quickly undo her bra, and her panties dropped to the floor literally seconds before she stepped into the shower and closed the Plexiglas shower door behind her.

She stepped under the hot water stream, closing her eyes and enjoying the moment of serenity that she knew was not going to last. There was no doubt in her mind that he would try everything to get her to board that plane out of Frankfurt tomorrow. But there was also no doubt in her mind that she wasn't going to board that plane.

No way, she did not come this far to throw the towel in … she was here to help him with his assignment, and she was not going to leave until it was over and done with.

Kate stepped forward just enough that her face was no longer under the constant stream of water. She ran her hands over her face before she opened her eyes and she probably shouldn't have been too surprised that the first thing she saw through the fogged up glass was Sawyer dropping his boxers and making his way over to her with that unmistakable swagger of his.

A tad bit annoyed by the nerve of him for wanting to shower with her after scolding her for the last several hours she thought about spraying him with ice cold water up on his entrance. But Kate quickly thought the better of it, and figured that naked, hot and wet was probably her best chance of convincing him to let her stay and tag along.

The shower door opened and a gush of cold air rushed through the small shower cabin up on Sawyers entrance. She eyed him up and down but tried her best Juliette-Impression by not giving anything away. He smiled – of course – enjoying this intrusion way too much as he pushed against her to catch some of the stream himself.

Kate lowered her head, unable to keep up the placid look of Bree-van-de-kamp any longer. Angry with herself now that her body was betraying her as the length of his erection pressed into her side.

However, she didn't budge an inch … but damn him and the hormones that were currently raging through her body!

Sawyer reached up and moved the shower head just enough that the water was no longer hitting her, but instead hit his shoulders and Kate immediately protested his actions, "Hey, what are you doing?"

Smug and cocky he intruded on her space some more until her back touched the cold white tile behind her. Bracing his arms on the left and right of her, pinning her as he stared her up and down once more – like a predator eyeing his prey – he spoke with a low sexy growl, "You're getting on that plane tomorrow."

As if the shock of his words had snapped her out of her hormonal-illusions she straightened her spine, rather unintentionally pushing out her bare chest in the process and looked him right in the eye, "No, I'm not, James."

If he was annoyed at all at this point, it definitely didn't show. Instead he lowered his gaze and actually chuckled which only caused Kate's anger to flare, but before she could say anything else his hands flew up and framed her face before he pressed his lips to hers in a hard and unforgiving kiss.

But for once in her life, Kate had enough and actually pushed him away, much to her own and his surprise.

"What the hell did ya' do that for?" Sawyer protested, suddenly taken back by her unusual reaction.

"You can't …" she started but paused as she stepped towards him now in the small confined space, her finger poking at his bare chest, "… you can't just come in here, barking orders at me, laugh at me and then try to seduce me."

"Seduce you?" He asked back, his voice a pitch higher and his eyebrows raised as he reached up to move the shower head once more since it was now spraying in his face. "We've been screwin' none-stop since you came back from hiding out at Cassidy's well over a year ago, Sweetheart, I think we're waaaay past the seducing part."

She reached up now towards the shower head, since he had moved it to spray her as she gave him an evil look, but she honestly didn't quite know what say to that … after all, he had a point.

It took her a moment to gather her thoughts, as she pretended to still find the right angle for the water stream to buy her some time.

She quickly spoke up with the first thing that came to her mind, "You can't just expect to have sex with me whenever you feel like it."

"Since when?" he quipped back with a grin, clearly not impressed by her counter.

Damn him, Kate thought.

But before she could say anything else Sawyer showed off his incredible quick yet efficient reflexes when he wrapped one arm around her to pull her closer as the other one equally fast snaked between them, his fingers sliding between her thighs and finding her warm and moist.

Kate's head lowered, her forehead leaned against him with both her hands braced against his chest as if she had meant to fight him off, yet she couldn't help but whimper a moan at his touch.

And the raspy southern drawl in her ear as his fingers moved over her swollen folds didn't help the matter either, "Seems to me you're not that mad any more, Freckles."

She wanted him.

She knew it, and now he knew it too … but he was not going to win this fight with sex.

His fingers still rubbed away, slick and warm and his lips began to kiss and nip at her neck while Kate tried her best to suppress the onslaught of emotions that began rushing through her as she couldn't even bring herself to look up at him.

It wasn't like he'd always been the seducer, she'd done her share of luring him into her arms, but it was true that for the most part Sawyer took charge when it came to the sexual aspect of their relationship and she'd be lying if she said she didn't enjoy to completely surrender to him in those instances.

After all, he had this down to a t, knew just what to do and where to touch as if he'd studied her inside out.

His plan was fairly simple. Get her all hot and bothered, putty in his hands in the most literal sense and make a night of it. And come morning she'd be so blissfully and sexually sated, unable to argue any longer and he'd finally send her on home, where she'd be safe and sound. Home, where her biggest worry would be the harassing paparazzi following her every step.

Sawyer smiled as he gently kissed her pulse point in realization that his plan seemed to be working because Kate flinched and wriggled under the touch of his fingers that he'd began to teasingly slowly slip in and out of her.

So it was somewhat of a shock to him, to say the least, what happened next.

Kate's hand grabbed a hold of his wrist and pushed herself out of his grasp in the same instant as her frail sounding voice echoed in the tiled bathroom, "Stop, James."

The first sting of rejection quickly wore off and he couldn't help but smirk when he noticed her flaming cheeks accompanied by the unmistakable fire flaming in her eyes that were now staring back at him.

"Could've sworn you liked what I was up to." He crooned as he deliberately licked the two fingers that only moments earlier had been inside her. "Or should I say, you liked what I was into."

"Pig." She snapped back at him as she gave him a small push in hopes of putting a gap between their two wet bodies.

He tried to advance on her again, still smiling smugly, even after Kate held up both hands to keep him at bay, but the smile faded the instant Kate actually spoke, "I'm not getting on that plane tomorrow, James. And there isn't anything you can do about it."

A gruff sounding growl – almost animal like – escaped his throat and all the playfulness left his face and voice, "Why do you always have to make everything so god-damn complicated?"

By the tone of his voice she could tell that it wasn't an actual question that required an answer, but more of a statement to show his frustration with her.

But Sawyer wasn't the only one frustrated at the moment, and with that Kate quickly countered, "Why do I have to make everything complicated? What about you?"

"What about me, Sweetcheeks." He countered now.

"You're so insistent for me to get on that plane instead of just leaving things be. Instead of just letting me stay."

He ran a hand over his face, unable to hide his frustration any longer, but still Kate was sure she heard a tad bit of doubt in his voice when he spoke. "It ain't that simply, babe, and you know it."

"No, James, it is that simple." She stepped towards him, closing the gap that had formed between them, "Hurley, Ben, Richard and you came up with this whole plan without even asking me what I wanted to do." She saw he was about to speak so she quickly shushed him, "Let me finish. You didn't even bother to tell me that you had this assignment at all. When we left the island, I was under the impression that we were just taking different ways back. You lied to me."

"I didn't lie." He quickly replied, frowning at her accusation.

"Well, you didn't tell the truth either." She pouted.

Sawyer lowered his head and ran another hand down his face in frustration, "Is it really that hard for you to grasp that I want you home, safe and sound?"

"Is it really that hard for you to grasp that I want the same thing for you? I'm a big girl, I can handle myself. I'm not some fragile being."

"I would feel better knowing you're home."

"And I would feel better if you quit treating me like this." Kate protested.

"Treating you like what exactly?"

"Treating me like … like Jack did." The words were out and Kate immediately felt the shame of having said what she did.

A low fake sounding chuckle escaped his throat at the sound of the other man's name, trying his best to feign to be unaffected, but his cruel words gave away what he was feeling, "Ain't that what ya' always wanted, Sweetheart? My body, dick and moves with the doc's morals? This should be like a wet dream come true for you."

A moment of silence passed while she eyed him suspiciously before she spoke, "It won't work, James."

"What won't work?" he asked, somewhat curious what she was getting at now.

"I'm not going to get mad at you and leave. I'm staying. I'm not going anywhere."

Their eyes locked on one another again with an unspoken challenge and a heavy silence suddenly engulfed them both.

"Just hear me out, alright?" Sawyer suddenly pleaded, clearly having reached the end of his rope.

Sawyer lowered his gaze from hers, his lips pressed together tightly as if he was fighting the words that were about to escape, "I ain't never had anyone ..." He hesitated before he finished his sentence, "… who was truly mine."

Kate looked up and he actually met her gaze this time when he continued, "I've spend my whole childhood trying to fit in, trying to be something to someone and then I spend the rest of my life trying to take things – people even – from anyone who had what I didn't. Not really lettin' anyone close enough to actually hurt me."

"Always lying and pretending. Fake names, fake jobs, faked affection, fake everything. And then there was you. I ain't gonna lie, you weren't exactly my kinda girl, you looked more blue collar then white collar to me, but the way you were running after the doc …" He paused as if to think of his next words, "… but that moron was too damn busy saving people than to get busy with you."

Kate crunched up her nose, unsure of whether she should be disgusted or amused by his words, but she remained quiet and let him talk.

"That kiss …" He continued, "… the one for the inhalers." he added to clarify and Kate nodded, "It was suppose to get you all unraveled and him pissed off. It wasn't supposed to get me hooked on you."

Kate's eyes softened at those last spoken words and Sawyer suddenly found himself ready to wrap this speech up, "All I'm sayin' is … I've never had anything real 'till you. Someone who loves me in spite of all the fucked up shit I've done. And now we're hitched and we got a kid on the way and … I don't wanna lose this, now that I know what it's like to really have it."

"You're not going to lose me James." She wrapped her arms around him, "We can do this together. Get it done quicker if we're working together, and then we can both be on our way home."

He wrapped her in his arms, "If anything happens to you –."

Kate cut him off, "Nothing's going to happen to me. I promise."

"How can you be so sure?" He said as his hand disappeared in her hair and his stubbly chin rested on top of her head.

"Because you won't let it."

* * *

End Note: I'm sorry for the long wait but summer's tough to find time to write with my kids home from school, and also I was lacking inspiration. I just have all these ideas in my head for my third story that will follow this one, and that is somehow hindering my writing flow right now. Please review or rate if you have a minute. Whoever is still reading, I'm always curious what you thought. Xoxo

P.S. I've added some Skate manips to the following website


	7. Ulterior motives

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's Note:** I know it's been a long time since I last updated, and I'm sorry but real life got in the way. So here is finally a new chapter, I have to warn you about explicit sexual content, so if that isn't for you, you might want to skip this one.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sawyer was sprawled out on his back, content and fast asleep with her in his arms. Kate's head was resting on his shoulder, her hand flat on his bare chest and her leg hooked over his middle, when a penetrating sound echoed through the dark hotel room, waking them both.

Sawyer blinked and rubbed his eyes with his free hand as the ringing continued. Cursing under his breath, he began to stir and tried to free his other arm out from under Kate.

But Kate moaned and nuzzled her nose into the crook of his neck, whispering "Don't answer it. It's too early." At least she assumed it was, since the room was still dark and she was still painfully exhausted.

In an unusually graceful move, considering the early hours of the morning, he managed to free his arm without disturbing her too much. Now leaning over her, forcing her to roll onto her back, he placed a sloppy kiss to her forehead before he reached for the still ringing cell phone on the Nightstand next to Kate.

Kate blinked up at him, her eyes still adjusting to the darkness, and watched him unplug the phone from the charger before he answered it, his voice sounding rough and tired, "Yeah?"

He groaned as he sunk back onto the bed beside her with the phone pressed to his ear. Kate squinted and scooted closer to him again, trying to study his face in the darkness to gauge a reaction as to what the phone call was about.

A couple beats passed where Sawyer just nodded and hummed some sort of agreement, or maybe it was just acknowledgment that he was still listening, Kate couldn't be entirely sure. Then his eyes fell on her and the look in them told her what she'd feared all along. This phone call was about her.

Richard was still trying to convince Sawyer to put her on that plane after all. She should have known Richard wouldn't be placated by the half-ass explanation Sawyer had given him via phone before they'd gone to bed last night.

Her heart started pounding, suddenly doubtful if she'd convinced him enough that he'd argue with Richard on her behalf.

"Yeah, I know." He suddenly spoke and a look of guilt flashed over his face. That's when Kate knew she had to do something. Remind him somehow of the agreement they'd both succumb to last night, and how deliciously they'd made up, first in the shower and then once more in this bed.

She leaned over him then, her curly disheveled hair shielding her face like a curtain when she placed a kiss against his bare chest. Once. Twice. Then a third time before she dared to look up at him through the unruly curls that where falling in her face.

A smile tugged on his lips now as he met her eyes just then and he couldn't stop himself from tugging on her curls that where tickling his chest before her head dipped down again and she kissed him some more.

Again and again her soft wet lips connected with his salty skin; after all they both had worked up quiet a sweat last night. Makeup sex always tended to do that. It always seemed a bit rough, but she preferred to think of it as enthusiastic instead.

But when her mouth closed over his nipple, her tongue playing with it, she heard the groan that escaped his throat. She looked up at him, her mouth still on him and even in the darkness she could see his eyes fill with desire as he suddenly scrambled for words, "Y-yeah, yeah, I'm … I'm still listenin'." And with a nod of his head he added, "Go on."

Kate smiled in triumph at the realization that she could unnerve him like this, and with the look he'd shot her she was convinced that the 'Go on' he'd just uttered wasn't really meant for Richard at all.

She vividly remembered Sawyer's word's in the shower last night, 'I'm in charge, if I let you stay, we're gonna do this my way. You're gonna do as I say, no questions asked.' So abiding by their agreement she did as she was told. 'Go on', she did as she scooted further down and slowly and deliberately began a trail of kisses down his chest towards his abdomen.

Sawyer swallowed hard and closed his eyes, clutching the phone in his right hand and the sheet next to him with his other hand, while he fought the urge to grab her instead. Opening his eyes again, his jaw clenched as he watched her now intently while Kate's lips ventured further and further down his torso.

Kate knew he was watching her and felt her cheeks blush even though the darkness of the room should've eased some of her bashfulness. They had caressed, touched, teased, kissed and loved each other's bodies countless time, yet there was this one thing she'd never done with him, or more specifically to him. But she would bet her last dollar that right now Sawyer was wondering if she'd cross that line today … and if Kate was completely honest; she was wondering the same thing herself.

When she'd started on this kissing-trail down his body, she had really just meant to tease. Remind him of last night and the promises made to one another. But somewhere somehow between his sharp inhales and suppressed groans, she became curious and had let her mouth venture much, much further then she'd initially intended.

Now here she was, crouching between his spread legs, halfway covered with a sheet and flaming cheeks that she hid with full intent behind her unruly curtain of hair and with that completely shielding her face from his prying eyes.

She still kissed away, letting her lips and tongue linger right beneath his bellybutton, before following the small trail of hair and then up again, slowly and teasingly, but this time the teasing was more unintentional as she was trying to simply buy herself some time to gather up the courage to take that next step. Or not.

_Could I do this? _

Women did it every day. She remembered that back in high school her friend Beth had confided in her that she had done it for her boyfriend. But Kate never had. Not in high school or any time after. She had never performed oral sex on anyone, but Sawyer didn't actually know that either. She had just told him once that she didn't like to do _that_, and he'd never mentioned it again.

While her lips kept on moving along his skin, her mind searched for an explanation to her own actions and reactions. She could never pinpoint what it was exactly that had prevented her from doing _it_ in the past. She honestly didn't know, and had really never given it too much thought before now. But now that she did dare to think about it, a sickening feeling came over her that she only felt when her mind dared to think about Wayne.

She froze for a moment as that realization hit her. There was no actual memory, no traumatic experience that suddenly flashed before her eyes … none of that, just this sick twisted feeling that told her to _run_.

Kate forced her eyes shut, trying to keep the tears from falling. Practically lying between his open legs, with her hands left and right on Sawyers hips, she bent down again and kissed him. She lingered again, almost desperately sucking on his skin, smelling him, tasting him, inhaling him, all of him in an attempt to force the thoughts of Wayne out of her mind.

_James. James. James. _She repeated his name in her mind like a mantra. _James. My husband. James. The father of my child. James. A good man. James._

A tear rolled down her cheek and Kate smiled and kissed him again. She smiled, because it worked. Wayne was gone.

Unwilling to give into her fears, unwilling to run any more, she boldly reached for him. Her small hand wrapped around his erection like she'd done many times before, but this time she untangled her hair that had somehow gotten wrapped around his shaft in a quick and efficient manner.

It was probably only a second or two, but the world suddenly seemed to move in slow motion and all she could hear was her own heartbeat when Kate actually decided to wet her lips and slowly, tentatively wrapped them around him.

Sawyer's whole body jerked on contact. He wasn't at all surprised when her hands had wrapped around him, but he hadn't anticipated _that_ at all and without further ado he quickly dismissed Richard, "Gotta go, Richie. Something came up" and practically tossed the phone to the side.

A moaned "Freckles" escaped his lips as he closed his eyes and relished in the feeling but then somehow managed to prop himself up on his elbows, just enough to watch her.

Slowly she eased him into her mouth as far as she could and she could feel his body tense under her hands, while his erection only seemed to grow some more in her mouth. He moaned and Kate fought the urge to smile, since she wasn't in any position to actually do so.

She began to move him in and out of her mouth, very slowly at first and a bit unsure if she was doing it right. She pulled her legs up and shifted, tugging them under herself and kneeled between his legs now, thankful for the curtain of hair shielding her fire red face from him as her head slowly bobbed up and down.

He seemed to like what she was doing. His breathing and the sounds he was making told her so. That's when Kate could feel her entire body blush with the awareness that she actually liked it too, maybe even loved it. Loved to give him pleasure this way and that realization shocked her to her very core, because she'd never ever thought that she could enjoy an act like this.

_Wasn't this demeaning? _

_Wasn't this what guy's went to hookers for, 'cause proper wives don't do filthy things like this?_

But even while all these thoughts were running through her head, she couldn't force herself to stop. Sawyer's physical reaction was just too strong for her to stop what she was doing now, and besides she would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy the control she momentarily felt.

He had barely had enough wits about him to end the conversation with Richard before his mind went completely blank with unexpected pleasure.

He loved when she kissed him. Loved it when she teased him, with her lips or hands or sometimes even with just a look, but like a million times before he'd simply anticipated her teasing to lead to sex. Mind-blowing –we are finally together – sex, but he had not seen _that_ coming at all.

To say that he was pleasantly surprised did nowhere near cover how he felt when she began to take him into her mouth, but just like all good things, they never really lasted.

His body was tensing up, he could feel that familiar pull in his abdomen slowly building, and he was helpless against the sounds of pleasure that escaped his mouth. But at the same time his mind was slowly beginning to function again. He tried to fight it, tried really hard to let it go and just enjoy Kate's beautiful mouth around him, but he simply couldn't.

_Why? Why?_ His mind screamed. _Why now?_

_Does it really matter?_ He tried to argue with himself. _She loves me, that's why she's doing this._

But that nagging question kept on coming back. _But why now? She never wanted to before. Said she didn't like it, so why now?_

And what he had initially perceived as a step forward in their relationship, suddenly felt like a huge leap back.

_Was she doing this because she feared I'd go back on our agreement and put her on that plane after all? Had she seen no other choice then to bargain with the only thing she had left to offer? A god damn blow job. When and where did she begin to feel she wasn't worth more than that? When and where had this happened? Didn't she know she was worth so much more than this? She was so much better than this? Didn't she know she was better than me?_

_Fuck!_

"Freckles?" He could barely speak her name.

She froze at the sudden sound of his voice. This wasn't a sound of pleasure. Not a moaned 'Freckles' like she'd expected, this was him actually calling her.

As if frozen in place, she simply stopped with him still inside her mouth as doubt filled every fiber of her being.

Had she done it wrong after all? She'd tried really hard to not scrape his skin with her teeth while she moved up and down. Had tried to sheath her teeth with her lips to not hurt him.

So utterly embarrassed she felt every inch of her skin on fire. Not just her face, but her entire body felt like it was blushing when she realized that he was no longer lying down, but had actually pulled himself up to a sitting position.

"Freckles?" He asked again and moved her hair out of her face just in time to see her pop the head of his shaft out of her mouth like a big delicious lollipop while her hands were still wrapped around the bottom of his shaft.

Suppressing the moan that formed in the back of his throat at that image, he tilted her chin up in an attempt to meet her eyes. But she looked anywhere but him.

His eyes had adjusted enough to the darkness in the room to see that she was blushing, but then again that wasn't really a surprise to him. Kate always blushed, and if he was honest the fact that she blushed after all this time still turned him on immensely, which at this very moment didn't help the situation one bit.

"Hey?" He tried again, still tilting her chin in his direction. His voice was soft but demanding, "Look at me."

Her eyes shining in the darkness like a cats finally darted up to meet his while she unconsciously bit her bottom lip. That look she gave him broke his heart. What had he done that would put this much doubt in those breathtaking green eyes? Could she really believe he'd send her away now, after everything they'd talked about last night? Did she really still doubt him that much?

He already regretted the words before he said them, but he knew this was the right thing to do, "You know you don't have to do this." They both eyed each other with a hint of suspicion and uncertainty before he spoke up again, "I know you said you don't like to do that, and …" He couldn't stop himself from avoiding her eyes now, regretting saying this because it had felt so unbelievingly good, "… you know, girl, I'm good …"

He cleared his throat and looked back at her, hoping she wouldn't be able to tell he was lying, "I'm good if you don't want to do that, I'll be alright."

Kate looked away now, and he could tell right away that somehow he'd fucked up even more when he saw her reach for the sheet to cover herself as she sat up. This was not going good, especially with the culprit still standing swollen and hard as a rock between them. But with every single fiber still on edge from her delicious attack, there was no hope for _it _to go down any time soon; he could practically feel the blood pumping through his veins that were bulging out along the long shaft of his erection.

_But what was that lost look in her eyes for? What was going through her head right now?_

"Hey?" He reached forward and innocently tucked a stray curl behind her ear. "Penny for your thoughts." He's never been so much at a loss for words as he was right now, just out of fear of saying anything else wrong. He desperate wanted to fix this. He needed to fix this!

_My thoughts? I'm sorry I'm not as experienced as a hooker. I'm sorry I'm not as comfortable with my body like all those other women. I'm sorry I don't have hundreds of one-night-stands in my past to draw experience from. I'm sure your precious Juliet knew just what to do and how to do it. I'm sure you never told her to stop in the middle of a blowjob. I'm sorry I'm not her._

Kate herself didn't know where all that sudden anger was coming from, or why every time she felt insecure about their relationship Juliet appeared in the back of her mind with her placid smile in place being all perfect and forthright. She hated that she felt that way, but right now she hated even more that she was ruining their perfect morning together.

"Kate?" His voice startled her out of her thoughts.

She quickly looked up at him then with defeat. "I'm fine, James." She uttered tiredly before she unceremoniously crawled over his leg to make herself comfortable in her old spot.

James still sat upright, watching her over his shoulder as she settled down, and from the looks of it she was going back to sleep. He sighed and frustrated ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head to himself while he tried to put the puzzle pieces together in order to figure out what the hell had just happened.

_Should've kept my big fat mouth shut._ He thought as he scratched himself with the hope that his touch would somehow diminish hers on his skin, but it wasn't so. Frustrated – in more ways than one – he lied back down beside her, propping himself up on his side and watched her.

_Why was she suddenly pretending to be tired? What the hell was going on?_

He adjusted the pillow under his head, so that his face was now mere inches away from hers. Noses so close they almost touched, the only difference was that her eyes were shut and he stared at her in utter confusion. She looked so beautiful this way, with her messy hair, rosy cheeks and those deliciously swollen red lips.

"Are you ever gonna trust me?" _Shit, did I just say that out loud?_

Her eyes flew open in surprise, "What?"

"I said, are you ever gonna trust me?"

"I trust you." Kate answered without the slightest hesitation, but had to hold back the unladylike snort that almost escaped her. After all, wasn't the fact that he didn't trust her the reason they were here in the first place? Had he not tried to hide his assignment from her, they could've come to an agreement with Richard, Ben and Hurley before they ever left the island. But he hadn't trusted her enough to spill the whole truth.

Sawyer wasn't as successful in hiding his true feelings. "Right." He huffed sarcastically and sat propped up against the headboard, feening and wishing he hadn't quiet smoking again. "That's why you thought a blowjob was in order for me to let you stay? We agreed last night to do this together. I wasn't gonna go back on the deal, Kate." His accusatory tone of voice wasn't missed by her.

What he'd said had definitely gotten her attention and she propped herself up now, sitting Indian-style to be at eyelevel with him before she snapped back at him, "Yeah, so I was a little scared that you'd back out of our deal, but that is not why I did _that._ What kind of person do you think I am?"

"If _that_ wasn't about Richard's call, then what was it about?" He stared at her and his face fell the moment he saw that flicker in her eyes right before she looked away. Shit, had he been wrong about this?

She looked down at her hands trying desperately to avoid his intense stare but she could feel it none the less and it made her blush before she spoke, "You go down on me sometimes and I've never accused you of ulterior motives, why would you assume I had one?"

_Son of a bitch ... Son of a bitch!_

His brain was trying to catch up with the onslaught of information and feelings that basically bombarded him simultaneously. And within seconds, his erection was back, possibly more painful and harder than it had been … ever! His eyebrows shot up in surprised but he forced himself to keep the smile off of his face until he had an actual answer from her, "So _that_" he paused and pointed in the direction of his groin area "was just because you –"

Kate cut him off, "Yeah, just because I wanted to, no secret agenda." She looked away again, batting her eyelashes in that innocent way that simply drove him crazy, and damn her for pouting like that with those puffed up swollen lips.

"Shit." He exclaimed, but then a smile spread across his face, dimples showed and even teeth were showing, "And I fuckin' stop you in the middle of it, thinkin' that you were just …" he waved his hands unable to think of the right words at first but then added, "… didn't think you really wanted to do it."

She blushed again, her voice lowered into a whisper, "I thought you didn't like it."

"Oh, trust me, Freckles, I liked it. Had you kept going for a few more minutes you would've gotten a taste of just how much I liked it." He said with a sleazy grin.

Kate rolled her eyes at that but didn't fight him when he was lying back down and pulled her into his arms. And she surprised herself and him when she admitted whispering into his chest, "I liked it too."

"Well, hell, babe." He drawled, "Wouldn't wanna be the one to keep ya' from something you like doin'." His body pressed slick against hers, the weight of him pinning her to the mattress as he began kissing her neck.

Kate tilted her head to the side to give him better access and murmured, "I bet."

His lips then closed over hers in a long drawn out kiss while their bodies tried almost desperately to get even closer. He hovered over her, bracing himself on his forearms, one hand on the back of her neck to hold her in place while he kissed her. Her arms wrapped around him, clinging to his back and pulling him closer to her. Their legs were intertwined, one of his thighs parted hers and he grinded it into her causing her to moan into his mouth.

Without ever breaking their scorching kiss Kate spread her legs for him, impatiently pulling on his back again until he complied and settled between them. Kate pulled her knees up, wrapping her legs around his waist with the heel of her foot pushing into his lower back. That's when Sawyer pulled back, his lips hovering over hers as he teased her, "Someone's impatient this morning."

Kate just nodded, not in the mood for any more games. Sawyer shifted over her, his hips grinding skillfully into her, causing the length of him to rub along her and passed her entrance. Kate gasped at the sensation and he did it again, his eyes trained on her face that was more visible now with their room slowly lighting up with the sun rising outside.

"James." She looked up at him and the need in her voice destroyed any ideas he had had of teasing her a bit longer. He drew back once more, his hips lifted off of hers and his hand reached between them to position himself at her entrance.

He slit inside of her in one fluid motion, causing both of them to moan into each others mouth.

He slowly began to move and her hips began to rock along with his, but one firm hand gripped her hard and pushed her hip down into the mattress to keep her still before he plunged into her once more. He had to keep her from moving or he wasn't going to last this time. She complied – not like she had a choice – and let him set the pace. He took her so deliciously slow, so unlike the way they'd done it the night before, and she savored it. His lips withdrew from hers and that caused her to open her eyes and actually look at him as his face hovered right above hers.

Their eyes locked on each other's and his hair fell in his face, swaying along with every breathtaking trust of his hips. Sawyer opened his mouth and she watched him hesitate before he almost moaned the words to her, "I'm glad you stayed, Freckles."

"Me too." She huffed and her right hand pulled him back down into a kiss.

XXXXXXXXX

4 days later … somewhere in Spain

Things had changed. Every assignment had been changed because with Kate now along for the ride Richard had decided to take a completely new approach, very much to Sawyer's disapproval. But a deal was a deal, and they had to move quickly and trying to come up with yet another plan that didn't involve Kate to this extend had become fruitless at this point.

Within the last three days Kate and he had run this con two times and both times it had gone down without a hitch. She was truly something and he'd be lying if he said that it didn't unnerve him just a bit at how good she actually was at this. Playing her part to the t, lying, scheming, seducing … he couldn't help but wonder what could've been had they met under different circumstances long before the crash. They would've made quite the team.

He adjusted the knot on his tie one more time before he grabbed his suit jacket of the hanger and slipped it on, glancing in her direction and watched her press her lips together to even out her lipstick.

The dress she wore was short, black and sleeveless, leaving nothing for the imagination. He wouldn't mind taking her out on a proper date dressed like this, with his arm around her and his hand on her hip claiming her as his. But the fact that she was going after a mark wearing that little-bit-of-nothing had a sudden jealousy rage through him that was ranking right up there with the way he'd felt when Jack uttered those three little words to him '_I had her'._

He grunted out loud at the memory and it caught Kate's attention as she looked over at him, "What's wrong?"

_He had you! He fucking had you and this guy's going to try to have you, that's what's wrong!_ "I can't get this tie right."

"Let me see." She said and began fixing his tie that in her opinion looked already perfect the way that it was. She glanced up at him then, meeting his scrutinizing gaze, "This isn't really about the tie, is it?"

He frowned at his own transparency, but had the decency not to lie, "This guy's different, Freckles."

"I know." She said and went back to applying her make-up.

"Do you?" Sawyer asked stepping behind her and meeting her gaze in the mirror. He couldn't help but close the gap between them and place both his hands on either side of her hip. The thought of pushing the dress up and bending her over this sink temporarily caused him to lose his train of thought, until he looked up again and saw her smirking back at him. _Great minds think alike!_

"We don't have time, James." She said with a tinge of disappointment, but held his gaze for a moment before she went about fixing her hair, knowing very well that he was about to give her yet another speech about how she'd have to be careful.

"Look, honey, those two fat German chumps were a piece of cake. They never even saw you coming, but this guy …" He pause for affect "… this guy's a different cat!"

She was done with her hair just then and turned to face him, "Are you worried because he's handsome?"

His eyebrows shot up, his voice surprisingly high-pitched when he inquired back, "Do you think he's handsome?" His hands gripped her hips again and tightened.

Damn, she'd just poured kerosene all over his open flame, feeding the fire, but too late to go back she went for honesty, "Yes, James, I do." He grunted disapprovingly and frowned at her but she carried on because she had a few doubts of her own that needed nurturing, she looked down and fidgeting with her wedding ring, "You don't think I'm pretty enough to get him to leave with me? You don't think I can pull this off."

Confusion contoured his face, one hand eased up on her hip and cupped her chin instead, forcing her to look up at him. "You got this." He said calmly. "No doubt 'bout that. I'm just … " he sighed at a loss for words "… this guy's slick, he's … "

"Like you." Kate supplied when he'd paused again.

_Son of a bitch, she was right! Is that what worried him about this? That she was up against someone like him?_

As the truth in her words sank in, Kate couldn't help but smile when she framed his face in her hands, "I can handle someone like you?"

The smile on her lips eased some of his uneasiness, he forced himself to smile and tease her back "Do you now?"

"I've had plenty of practice." She beamed and poked him in the chest with a manicured finger.

He sighed and swallowed hard which caused Kate's smile to falter because she realized that he was truly worried about her, "If anything doesn't go according to plan, you get the hell out of there. Promise me, Freckles."

She nodded then, swallowing the lump in her throat before she answered him earnestly, "I promise."

XXXXXXXXXXX

**End note:** I haven't given up on any of my fanfics, I just haven't had any time to write lately, so please bear with me. I'll update as soon as I can, that's a promise. Let me know what you all thought. xoxo


	8. He was nothing like you!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry I've been MIA for so long, but I had a very good reason. Besides the usual 'distractions' like kids, work and household, our family moved. Not just across country but literally countries. But we're settled in now in beautiful Oahu Hawaii and I've finally finished this chapter. I don't know why it's been so hard for me to get this one finished and I'm very sorry too that it doesn't move the story forward a whole lot, but I hope you enjoy it anyways. It sort of showed once more how insecure both, but especially Kate can be when it comes to their future ahead. But just FYI, I'm already working on the next chapter and will post it asap. Thank you for anyone that's still sticking with my stories. I appreciate it so much and it is what keeps me from just throwing in the towel. P.S. Is anyone else tired of all those Suliet-Stories?

XXXXXXXXX

Kate was scared.

Thus far everything had been going according to plan. She was here, walking into the hotel suite with this rich, mysterious and very handsome man, but she could feel that something was wrong. There wasn't any one specific thing, nothing she could point her finger on but the feeling was so overwhelming she had to force herself to keep going on with the charade.

She watched on nervously as he closed the door behind her, unconsciously rubbing her wedding-band and it caught his attention when he turned towards her.

"Are you having second thoughts?" He asked in perfect English – not a trace of an accent – and nodded towards her hands to emphasize the meaning of his question.

Kate immediately stopped playing with her ring and actually blushed, forcing herself to smile up at him and shook her head, "No … no second thoughts, it's just …" She paused in search for the right words, "… It's just that I've never … done this before. I guess I'm a bit nervous."

He smiled at her then, but the smile that was meant to put her at ease only seemed to frighten her more. She fought the urge to run!

He stepped towards her, ran his hand down to her lower back and ushered her into the main room of this breathtaking hotel suite. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves and looked around under the pretense of admiring their surroundings, but she was actually taking in as much information as she could. "Wow!" she said and gave him a big smile.

"You like it?" He asked as they stepped further into the luxurious room that was decorated in white leather couches, class tables and blush white carpet with doors that lead out to a large balcony, overlooking the beach.

He led her to one of the leather couches and waited for her to take a seat before he sat down beside her. He smiled again and she smiled back.

"Do I make you nervous?" he asked with a hint of a smirk on his perfect face and Kate couldn't help herself but notice that he had no dimples like Sawyer. She'd give anything to see those dimples right now.

She chuckled then and looked down, attempting to play her fear off as nothing but bashfulness, "Is it that obvious?"

"Maybe a little." He smiled back, a genuinely friendly smile this time.

Kate laughed then and shook her head, "I'm sorry, it's just …"

"You've never done this before." He interrupted her repeating her earlier statement and she nodded in agreement.

She had to get her act together, so far nothing was actually wrong, and Kate began to suspect that the only thing causing her to be scared was all the doubt Sawyer had put in her before they left for this assignment. This was all Sawyer's fault, she quickly decided, and took a deep cleansing breath before she spoke up.

"Maybe a drink would help." She blurted out.

He looked surprised, maybe embarrassed for not suggesting it first but immediately stood, "Of course, what would you like?"

Kate got up too, holding her black clutch purse in front of her, "I make a mean Long Island Iced Tea."

"Long Island Iced Tea?" He repeated with raised eyebrows, before he added, "I don't think I've ever had one."

Kate smiled then and stepped towards him, one hand gently resting on his chest as she pushed herself past him, "It's your lucky day then, you'll love it. Two Long Island Iced Teas coming right up."

_Ha, Sawyer was so wrong. He's not that different!_

She had hoped he'd sit back down but instead he followed her over to the bar, with a clearly amused look on his face.

Placing her purse on the counter beside her, she began to gather all of the ingredients, among them vodka, gin, tequila, and rum.

"That is a lot of alcohol. Are you trying to get me drunk?" He said and stepped behind her then, placing both his hands on her hips like Sawyer had done earlier. And there it was again, that feeling so strong and overwhelming that she had to fight every fiber in her body to keep going and not freeze.

The two previous Marks before him had touched her too, but it had only filled her with disgust, not fear. What was it about this guy that made him so intimidating?

He pressed against her, resting his chin on her shoulder under the pretense of watching her mix their drinks. It made her skin crawl, but she continued on, trying desperately to think of something to distract him with.

She turned her head then, forcing herself to lean into him and whispered in his ear, "You know what else would ease my nerves a little? Music." She answered before he could say anything.

"What kind of music?" He whispered in her ear then as he wrapped his muscular arms around her from behind, pulling her even closer.

"Surprise me." She flirted back and it brought a smile to his handsome face before he reluctantly stepped away from her.

Kate swallowed hard and watched him disappear into the other room, which she presumed was the bedroom and she immediately retrieved the small vial of powder that she'd hidden in the lining of her purse, poured and mixed it into one of the two glasses and stirred it with ferocity to dissolve it as quickly as possible. She'd made it without being caught and her eyes flickered to the clock on the wall to ensure she was still on schedule.

The breath she'd been holding escaped her then and a huge weight lifted off of her shoulders. All she had to do now was get this son of a bitch to drink this; a few sips would be enough to knock him out for the rest of the night. _Piece of cake_.

Music suddenly started playing from the bedroom and Kate stiffened at his choice of 'Let's get it on' by Barry White. _Could this guy be any more of a cliché?_

He walked back out into the room with a smirk on his face and she smiled back at him, falling back into her role she commented on the music, "Interesting choice."

"I was told Americans like this song." He answered without hesitation but kept his eyes on her as she handed him his drink.

"I can honestly say I've never 'gotten it on' to this song before, so this will be a first." She took the smallest sip of her drink, hoping he'd do the same but he didn't.

He stood there with his drink in his hand and watched her with hawk eyes and that's when Kate noticed that the smile he displayed didn't really reach his eyes and that fear she'd felt earlier came back with full force.

Desperate for this to be over she couldn't help herself and the words slipped out of her mouth before she had time to think if this would make him suspicious or not, "Aren't you gonna try your drink?"

His smile faded then and he looked the long glass in his hand up and down before he looked back at her, "Not yet." He put the drink down faster then she could protest and reached for her drink instead, taking it from her and placing it next to his back on the counter of the bar. "Let's dance." And just like that she was in his arms, one hand in hers while his other hand rested on her lower back as they slowly danced to the slow seductive baritone voice of Barry White.

Trying her best to pretend she was comfortable and relaxed she forced herself to rest her head against him and just let him lead. Wrapping both her arms around his neck he curled his arms around her middle and pulled her closer and for a fraction of a second she felt reassured again that she could do this.

Just then her eyes scanned the clock on the wall and realization dawned that she was running out of time. Ten minutes! In ten minutes she'd have to text James that everything was a go.

She swayed along to the music while her mind searched desperately for another way to get him to drink her little concoction and if he didn't, what reason would she give why she had to use her phone? Time ticked away, mocking her as the stupid song restarted. _For heaven's sake, he put it on repeat!_

XXXXXXXXXXX

Sawyer sat at the bar with his half empty class of whiskey in front of him. He'd needed that drink desperately after having to watch this guy with his hands all over Kate tonight. With a frown on his face he emptied the tumbler completely, then reached for his phone in the inside pocket of his jacket.

Glancing at the time on the screen, she had two more minutes to text or call. He tried not to read too much into the fact that the previous times she'd called a good five to ten minutes early, but it just didn't sit well with him.

And this uneasy feeling that had stayed with him the entire evening seemed to only grow more intense with every second that ticked away without her call.

Staring at his phone, he watched as the number changed and one minute had passed.

_Come on, Freckles … call!_

And then there it was, another minute had passed and she still hadn't called him. He stared at his phone, eyeing the bars in the corner that indicated he had full reception, but what if she didn't? What if she had no reception and couldn't call him?

_Please, god, let that be it! _

But what if she couldn't call him for a different reason?

He waited impatiently, his heart pounding so loud it drowned out everything around him while he stared at his phone until another minute had gone by.

That was it, she was officially late on getting back to him, and he knew something was wrong. Weather it was just a case of bad cell phone reception, or worse … but he didn't want to think about that as he threw money on the bar for his drinks and stormed off.

Thinking on his feet he got into the elevator, pushing the button for the top floor where the suite was located. He quickly went over every scenario in his head, as he felt for the syringe in the inside pocket of his jacket.

He couldn't wait any longer, he just had to get in there one way or another and the bluntest approach seemed to be the most logical at the moment. But none the less, he still desperately held onto the hope that she'd answer the door instead.

Sawyer gingerly walked down the small hallway to not raise any suspicion, looking over his shoulder one last time to see if anyone had followed or noticed him before he stopped in front of the double doors that held Kate just on the other side. He took a deep breath before he knocked loud enough to wake the dead.

He held his breath as he heard footsteps approach and this stomach twisted in knots at the realization that it wasn't the clicking of Kate's high heels that he'd heard earlier today. Bracing himself for the worst, he reached for the gun in the back of his pants for reassurance that he was prepared for whatever was awaiting him inside that hotel suite.

The door opened and Sawyer found himself standing face to face with the man that had tried to bed his wife. He would've been amused by the lack of security, since his adversary hadn't even bothered to ask who was on the other side of the closed door before he opened it.

But when their eyes met he realized that Mr. Salvatore practically oozed arrogance and he knew he could use that bit of information to his advantage.

"May I help you?" Came the question directed at Sawyer as his eyes flittered passed the man's large frame and into the suite, but there was no sign of Kate.

Laying on his thickest southern accent, he spat back with annoyance, "Hell yeah you can help me. I'm here for my wife."

"Excuse me?" The man answered amused, "I'm afraid I have no idea what you are talking about."

The irritation that was evident in his tone of voice couldn't have been any more obvious, "I was told that my wife left the bar with you, so where the hell is she?"

He had the audacity to grin at him and shook his head in amusement, "I left the bar alone. I'm sorry I couldn't help you …" he stepped back to close the door in Sawyers face but Sawyer quickly stepped forward blocking and stopping him from closing the door.

"I just left a fucking shitload of green down at the bar to find out whom my wife left the bar with, Enrique, so our little chat ain't fucking over yet, buddy-boy."

Forcing his way inside and past the man he kept in role of the scorned husband and yelled for her, "Freckles, I know you're here! Freckles?"

There was no answer, no sign of a struggle, no sign that she'd ever even been here until Sawyer's eyes fell on the two empty glasses sitting by the bar. Just then a breeze swept through the room from the open balcony doors, the smell of ocean so strong it took him back in time for just a split second before he regained his wits and he knew just what he'd have to do.

A clearly enraged Julio Salvatore suddenly grabbed a hold of his arm and swung him around, "You need to leave now."

Barely struggling against the man's hold on him, he kept on arguing, "They said she left with you. Folks down at the bar saw you leave with her." He huffed in annoyance as they approached the door.

"She is not here. I already told you so." He exclaimed as he stood his ground and stopped Sawyer from intruding any further into his suite.

Sawyer shrugged the man's hands off of him and straightened his posture as he buttoned his jacket up again, "I know she's here." He smiled a wicked smile and met the man's eyes dead on, "You can keep her, she's your problem now, Romeo."

The stunned expression on Julio's face was exactly what he would've expected. Sawyer turned away in pretense to walk out the door and seized the moment as he pulled the syringe out of his pocket, and with an equally smooth move pulled the cap off between his teeth, quickly turned back around and had the needle buried in Julio's neck. "Sweet dreams"

Shutting the suite door that was already ajar and checking one more time to make sure this guy was really out for the count, he rushed through the suite to the first closed door and swung the double doors open.

"Freckles." He called out again, but there was still no answer. The bed was made and nothing seemed out of place but then he heard it, the small moans coming from behind another door. His heart pounded in his chest as he ribbed the door open and found Kate lying on the carpeted ground of the walk in closet.

"Son of a bitch." He knelt down beside her and undid the gag she had over her mouth and instantly sobs escaped her throat and big fat tears rolled down her cheeks. "I got you Freckles." That's when he noticed the bright red mark across the right side of her face and the bloodied busted lip and a sudden rage overcame him as he began to cut the zip ties on her hands and feet with his pocketknife.

With her arms freed, she practically threw herself into his still sobbing inconsolable, and he wrapped his arms around her as he held her tight and thanked the heavens that she was alright. They sat like that for a long moment on the closet floor.

He could feel her heart beating in her chest and he drew back enough to get another look at her face. Cupping her chin with his left hand he tilted her head to the side and examined the damage. "He hit you?" He could barely utter the words as fury filled his eyes at the sight of her broken skin.

She pulled away then, suddenly ashamed and her eyes downcast avoiding his, but none the less she answered him truthfully. Mainly because she'd always hated it when her mother hadn't told the truth after Wayne had gotten mad with her. So she uttered a whispered, "Yeah." Besides, there was no point in denying it, evidence of Julio's assault on her was literally all over her face, and she knew there would be more bruises to explain later on that he just hadn't noticed yet.

"Son of a bitch." Came a loud curse from him and his jaw tightened with anger.

That's when Kate reached up and framed his face with her hands, turning his focus back on her as she leaned into him to place the softest kiss on his lips. He kissed her back, long and hard as he poured all the fear he'd felt just moments earlier into this kiss.

It was only minutes before both of them rather reluctantly got up off the floor and refocused their attention to the mission at hand.

Sawyer went about to gather all the information Richard required. Kate began to wipe down everything Sawyer and her had touched, destroying any evidence that could help Julio Salvatore trace this back to them.

About two hours later they were both in the car, on the road to their next assignment.

Silence filled the air around them for a long while, and unlike the previous times, neither of them felt like celebrating this time around.

Kate was the first one that spoke up, "Just go ahead and say it."

Her words both startled and surprised him. "What are you talkin' 'bout, pumkin'?"

"I'm talking about that you were right. I should've listened to you and gotten on that plane in Paris."

"So that's why you've been givin' me the silent treatment for the past hour? Because you're waiting for an 'I-told-you-so'?" Sawyer snorted, "Where the hell is that coming from?"

That's when she finally dared to look at him and he glanced her way before he had no choice but to focus his attention back on the dark country road before them. She swallowed, "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this."

"Cut out for what?" He inquired before she could say anything else.

"Being a mother." She sighed audibly, then added, "Being a wife."

Sawyer grunted in annoyance and grabbed the steering wheel tighter as he focused his full attention on the road ahead. A long moment passed before he finally decided to speak up, "Is this where I'm suppose to be encouraging and what not?"

Kate glanced at him and he met her eyes dead on for a second before he continued on, "The truth is … you fucked up, Sweetheart." He looked at her once more to gauge her reaction before adding, "You should've been more cautious, I told you this guy wasn't like the rest of 'em, didn't I? But that ain't got nothing to do with you being a good mother or a good wife."

She was speechless. For a moment she didn't know what to say to that and before she could utter any kind of rebuttal, he added, "But what's done is done."

After that she didn't say anything else, just sat there in silence again with one hand resting on her stomach, because she knew that what he'd said wasn't necessarily true. Nothing was done. This guy had kicked her, punched her, so who's to say that his assault on her wasn't going to leave more than just a busted lip and a few bruises. Who's to say that she'd still be expecting a child come morning?

But his voice brought her out of her thoughts once again when he asked, "Why would you even say that anyways? You've been a great mother to Aaron. And you've been great with Clem too."

She glanced over at him then, smiling slightly at his flattery, but she couldn't help but notice what he hadn't said and commented on it, "Just not that good of a wife?"

He looked at her, then at the road and back at her again before a dimpled smirk graced his face, "You're hell in the sack!"

He said it with such vigor it was hard for her to keep a straight face. She wished he wouldn't have this kind of effect on her, because she really didn't feel like smiling and joking. She turned her head towards the window, trying to hide her smile from him when she noticed he was pulling over. He put the car in park right as she turned to face him, "What are you doing?"

"Com' here." He said with a casual wave of his hand.

"What?" she asked confused.

"I said, com' here." And with that he unbuckled her seatbelt and reached towards her. She didn't fight him, but instead let him help her climb over to him, which seemed harder to do in the short black dress she was still wearing.

He'd pulled her onto his lap and held her close. Her head tucked under his chin, he pulled the red wig off of her and began to unpin hundreds of bobby pins that held her real hair in place until her freed brown curls cascaded down her shoulders and back.

Silence and contentment wrapped around them both for a long moment. He played with her hair while Kate closed her eyes and inhaled his masculine scent, but despite the fact that she felt so content in his arms, she couldn't push that nagging feeling away that he hadn't really answered her question. "It's more than just sex?"

He smiled at the irony how someone so beautiful and headstrong could also be so incredibly insecure, "You cook, you clean, you're easy on the eyes! A mayor pain in the ass, but the great sex cancels that out."

She pulled back and sat up straight, careful not to hit her head on the ceiling of the car and looked at him, her insecurities written all over her face.

He met her gaze, "It's always been more than just sex, Freckles." and cupped her cheek gently, "What's really goin' on?"

She lowered her gaze, and braced a hand flat on his chest, "I'm scared that he might've hurt the baby."

Anger, guilt and concern all flooded his face when his hand immediately rested on her abdomen, "Are you hurting?"

"No." she shook her head, "But what if-"

He cut her off, "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, alright."

Kate nodded her head but clearly didn't seem convinced.

"How about this, we get back on the road and we have Richard send a doctor to the hotel, and he can check you out to make sure everything's still good, alright?"

"Alright!" Kate agreed and leaned in for a kiss before she reluctantly climbed back into her own seat so they could get back to the road.

XXXXXXXX

Several hours later Sawyer was spooning Kate as they lay in bed in their hotel room. His hand protectively rubbed her lower abdomen, "You're gonna be a great mom, Freckles."

Her hand covered his then and held it tight, "James?"

"Yeah?"

"He was nothing like you!"

XXXXXXXXX

**End**** Note:** Review please if you have a moment. I know it's not very long but I didn't want to wait any longer and finally post it. It was unusually hard to get this chapter done, but I hope the work paid off and some of you liked it. xoxo


	9. How 'bout that?

**Author's Notes:** The new chapter is finally done. The story is slowly but surely moving along, with a long flashback that'll take us back to 'Eggtown' towards the end, that includes a deleted scene between Sawyer and Hurley from season four that I can't take any credit for. The deleted scene takes place after Kate and Sawyer talk on Claire's front porch and she tells him to go home, but before she shows up and asks him to help her bust out Ben from Locke's basement. The scene can be found on you tube, if you search for 'Lost eggtown deleted scene Sawyer Hurley'

Also a quick shout out and thank you for all the people that have stuck it out with me thus far, following me and added me to their favorite lists, and of course the reviewers that stuck around. You're all very much appreciated and I wouldn't keep writing this story if it wasn't for all of you. So thank you. Now read on, and I hope you enjoy it.

P.S. You don't' have to watch the deleted scene to get this chapter, but I thought it gives a nice visual to part of the story. ; )

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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Kate awoke to the muffled sound of Sawyers voice. She blinked and rubbed her eyes to adjust to the pitch black darkness that surrounded her in their hotel room. The faint line of light at the bottom of the closed bathroom door caught her eye and it became clear that's where the hushed voice was coming from.

_Who was he talking to?_

Groggily she rolled out of bed to further investigate, wrapping the sheet around herself when she left the warmth of the bed behind her and tiptoed towards the bathroom. She reached for the door handle and was just about to open the door when she overheard him speak again, sounding angry with whoever was on the other end of this conversation.

"Ain't nobody's gonna put their god damn hands on my wife and get the fuck away with it, and that's all there's to it, Hoss." Kate gasped in surprise and startled dropped her hand from the door handle, but remained glued to the spot by the door.

_What had he done?_

Her foggy mind cleared up immediately as she recalled the events from just a couple of hours ago. How they had finished their assignment and he'd insisted that she'd slip out of the hotel ahead of him and should meet him by the car. It wasn't that unusual, they'd done it that way the previous times as well. But had he hurt her unconscious attacker after she'd left the suite this time?

Her heartbeat quickened at the thought and all sorts of emotions bombarded her simultaneously. A feeling of gratitude overcame her but with it came the onslaught of guilt for being yet again the cause for someone's hurt.

Would she ever stop being the cause for other people's hurt?

Her thoughts had drowned out the sound of Sawyer's conversation and so it was no surprise that she hadn't noticed that he'd hung up the phone and opened the bathroom door to find her standing their doe-eyed like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.

The light that filtered past his large frame in the open doorway illuminated just enough of her face to show off the purplish bruise that had formed along her temple and cheekbone, and he couldn't stop the frown that crossed his features at the sight of it. But when his eyes met hers, the bruise was temporarily forgotten and he spoke up, "How much did you hear?"

She looked down for a split second, staring at his bare feet that were almost toe to toe with hers and she folded her arms across her chest without losing the sheet that was wrapped around her, "Enough to get an idea of what happened after I left?" Then looked back up and held his gaze.

He didn't hesitate a moment to think his words over, didn't sugarcoat it for her, "I don't care if you're pissed or not, I don't care if Richie's pissed either, that son of a bitch had it coming when he hurt you and I'd do it again and that's that. I ain't got nothin' to be sorry for, Freckles."

She lowered her gaze again, her eyes traveling down his intimidating statue, past his bare chest, his boxers and settled once again on both their feet, while he was clearly waiting for her to say something.

Surely he was waiting for her to badger him that he shouldn't have done it, but if she was honest with herself then she'd have to admit that she'd felt grateful in a way that made her sick to her stomach.

Sick for feeling the way she felt. Sick for being that sick and twisted of a person, that the knowledge of Sawyer having done something to 'revenge' her actually made her feel good. Made her feel … loved, cherished, and most of all protected! Her own skin crawled with the insight of her own emotions, but she had to ask the not so obvious, when her eyes traveled up and met his again, this time fear in them reflecting back at him, "But you didn't …?" She shook her head as the question died down on her tongue, but he knew what she wanted to know.

He reached out to her then, his hands on her shoulders giving her a gentle squeeze before sliding down to still on her upper arms, and he shook his head too, "No, I didn't. He ain't looking too handsome no more though." Then he added unceremoniously, "Bastard's god damn lucky he's still breathing."

Her lips pressed together in a straight line, and she nodded her head at him as if in agreement of sorts, "Okay." That was all she could muster without falling apart and asking more questions that she probably didn't want to know the answers to.

"Okay?" He repeated, a questioning undertone to his voice when he eyed her for more insight into her mindset.

She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat, stepped out of his hands, bumping her shoulder into his arm as she reached passed him to turn off the light in the bathroom. Then quickly found his hand in the darkness and pulled him along with her, "Let's go back to bed then. What's done is done."

He followed suit without further questions, more than a little perplexed that this hadn't turned into a full blown argument, but he had a feeling the topic would probably be resurrected come morning light. At least he assumed it would.

They climbed back into bed and settled down side by side. He was stretched out on his back, when she cuddled into his side like so many nights before. One leg hooked over his thigh, her hand flat on his chest and her head on his shoulder, close enough that he could feel her breath on his unshaven neck.

Silence engulfed them for a long moment, both wondering if the other had fallen asleep yet. Sawyer got his answer when Kate pressed a kiss against his pulse point, followed by more sloppily placed pecks alongside his jaw while she proceeded to climb on top of him.

Although confused by her actions, he wasn't going to argue or question her intent. After all, last night was the first time they hadn't made love. Even after the doctor that Richard had send to their hotel had assured her that the baby was fine, she'd been too upset so they'd just fallen asleep in each other's arms.

So things naturally progressed like they always tended to, until they both climaxed together. Sweaty and spend lying in each other's arms once more.

Lying on her side, facing him she brushed his hair out of his eyes, causing his eyes to flutter open again to look at her.

Their eyes met and he smiled at her, his dimples digging deep into his cheeks, "You feelin' better, Sweetheart?"

"Yeah." She drawled and nodded her agreement, shyly smiling back at him before they both leaned in closer to kiss again.

"One more assignment." She stated.

"I know." He pulled her closer to him and exhaled as if he alone carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, "An' I'm goin' to handle this one on my own, no ifs or buts 'bout it, girl."

He waited for her rebuttal. Waited for the fight he knew he was in for, but he also knew that he wasn't going to back down this time, didn't matter how mad she got.

But she simple raised her head and met his eyes and nodded when she answered him with a whispered "I know". That's when he realized she still wasn't quite past the events that had taken place the night before.

Trying to lighten the mood he gave her a once over and chuckled, "Who are you? And what did'ya do with my wife?"

She chuckled then too, couldn't help it when he pulled the sheet up to peek under it to mock inspect even further if it was really her. Snatching the sheet from him to cover up again, she quickly retorted, "Smartass."

He rolled on top of her then, playfully kissing her, first along her jaw then the crook of her neck and down her collarbone, while his teasing movement of his hand made her squirm under him, before she framed his face with her hands to focus his attention back to her, "I won't take any more chances with this baby, James. I promise."

He hovered over her then, his body pressed against hers, one hand disappearing in her hair when he nodded in agreement, "I know, Freckles … I know you won't." It was a lie, he didn't know if she could change her ways this quickly but he had hope that she would.

He leaned down to press his lips to hers, gently and tentatively kissing her again before he pulled back and looked into her eyes, "This will all be over with soon, we'll leave all this shit behind us, Sweetheart, and I'll be back home with you. This kid ain't never gonna go through what we've been through. This kid ain't never gonna suffer like we did."

"You promise?" She asked him with pleading eyes.

He nodded "I promise, Freckles."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Several days later in Los Angeles

Kate's hand trembled while she tried to unlock the door to the house she'd once shared with Sawyer. Dreading the silence filled darkness she would inevitably find inside. She looked over her shoulder one more time before she disappeared inside, surprised by the lack of paparazzi, but relieved all the same. The last thing she needed right now were cameras in her face and being bombarded by ridiculous questions about her husband's death and her disappearance thereafter.

She flipped the light switch on, kicked the door closed behind her, pulling her suitcase over to the staircase before abandoning it there next to her black flats she had unceremoniously toed off. She quietly walked further into her home, wordlessly illuminating every room along the way with the flick of a switch.

Kate walked into the kitchen, dropping her purse onto the counter and opened the fridge. She wasn't really hungry or thirsty – Claire had made her eat up on her arrival several hours ago – but she'd promised Sawyer that she'd take better care of herself so she retrieved a bottle of water and took a healthy drink.

Inspecting the contents of the fridge, she had expected to find mold covered cheese, lunchmeat and leftovers that had taken on a life of their own, but instead she realized that someone had actually cleaned it out in her absence, and there was barely anything left other then condiments and bottled water, beer and a few sodas. She closed that door and opened the other side to her freezer in search of something quick and easy that she could heat in the microwave, but she had no such luck.

Frustrated she closed the freezer and scanned the magnets on the door for the pizza parlor that Sawyer and her liked so much. Placing her water on the kitchen counter, she reached for the phone, dialed the local number and absentmindedly ordered their usual. Realizing her mistake as soon as the words had left her mouth, but to keep face and to not break down in tears, she simply bit her lip and mumbled her agreement as the female voice repeated the order back to her.

Without Sawyer here to eat his more than fair share of their usual order, she'd have enough pizza and breadsticks left to last her for several days.

Richard had said it could possibly take as long as two month for Sawyer to be able to come home to her. In hindsight of spending the rest of their life together, two months didn't seem like that big off a hurdle, but right in this moment as Kate found herself standing in her big empty house all alone it seemed like eternity.

Everything about this house somehow, someway reminded her of him, and Kate found herself being torn between embracing those memories of him that echoed off of these walls or feeling overwhelmed by the immense sense of loss she felt for not having him home with her at this time.

That was one of the reasons why she'd gone straight to Claire's house after she arrived back in L.A., wanting to see Aaron was another. So that's where she'd been for the better half of today, and the more she looked around her empty home she'd wished she'd stayed the night over there as well.

Kate shook her head to herself at the irony of it all. She'd spend her life running away from people, stayed in shady motel rooms, slept under bridges and god only knew where else all by herself, and here she was in her beautifully decorated house in the outskirts of L.A. and somehow she'd never felt more alone then she did right in this moment.

Once she had arrived at Claire's earlier, Kate had made a few phone calls, and then spent the rest of her day talking to Claire and Miles. It goes without saying that they wanted to know everything that had happened and she was more than willing to talk and to share the whole experience with someone – leaving out the part about being pregnant, because she just wasn't ready to share that yet, at least not without him here with her. Time had been ticking away, she'd helped getting Aaron ready for bed, had read him a bedtime story and had also helped Claire pick up the toys scattered throughout the house, still stalling to leave, but eventually she knew she needed to get home to her own house and deal with her fears on her own.

Kate replaced the phone on its charging station. Noticing the blinking number; she dreadfully pushed the button on her answering machine to listen to all the messages left for her in her absence. One message was from her Parole Officer, a few were from her lawyer, but most of them were from her dad and Cassidy, all of them asking her to get back with them.

She'd already talked to her dad and her P.O. today, but had avoided calling Cassidy since she hadn't entirely decided yet what she was going to tell her long time friend.

Or maybe it was because she didn't want to hear anything negative that would inadvertently come out of Cassidy's mouth whenever something concerned Sawyer. He just couldn't do right in her eyes, she'd always find something to attack about his actions and Kate knew that this time wouldn't be any different.

Kate walked into the living room when her eyes fell onto the stack of mail someone had left on the coffee table for her to find. She placed her perspiring water bottle on one of the coasters on the end table, reached for the stack of mail before settling into _his_ spot on the end of the three-seater-sofa. With her legs stretched out on the coffee table in front of her, she began looking through her mail.

Most of them were bills that were probably already past due, a single letter from Jackson Teller, some junk mail and one large envelope from her lawyer's office.

She put Jackson's letter aside for now and opened the large envelope instead. After scanning over the pages, tears sprang to her eyes when she realized what she was looking at.

Life insurance! He'd actually invested in life insurance and had named her as the sole beneficiary. Kate wiped at her eyes, and tried to regain her composure. Unsure of what she was suppose to do about this, she quickly got up, taking the papers with her as she walked back into the kitchen to retrieve her cell phone from her purse.

Her hands trembled once more as she pushed the few buttons to call Richard. He answered on the third ring.

"Richard?"

"Kate? Is everything alright? Did something happen?"

She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat again, "I got mail from my lawyer. James took out a life insurance policy in my name, and … and I'm not sure what I should do with this. My lawyer called a few times, left some messages, I'm pretty sure it's about this. What do I do? I mean, what do I tell him?"

Richard cleared his throat, "Claim the policy but don't spend it, that's really the only thing you can do, Kate. You have to act and do as if –"

"As if I didn't know my husband is still alive." She interrupted Richard mid sentence.

"Yes, we already went over this in great length. You've raised enough questions and suspicions with your absence from L.A. already. It is vital that you are seen out in public. It is vital that people see you grieving. You have to act the part of the grieving widow and that includes handling all of his affairs, like his will, life insurance claims, and anything else that may arise. Do you understand?"

She nodded before she voiced her understanding, "Yeah, got it."

"I'll contact you when we get closer to the day."

_The day! The day he'd come back to her!_

Kate's hand slid over her stomach. "Yes, please do that." She whispered into the phone, not trusting her voice again to speak any louder.

"Have a good night."

"Bye." Was all Kate could muster as a response before she ended the call and left the cell phone on the kitchen counter next to her purse. She took in a deep cleansing breath and wiped at her eyes.

She could do this. He's alive and he's coming home soon and this is all just temporary.

_She could do this!_

Back in the living room, she left the big envelope on the table with the rest of her mail and grabbed her water on her way out to the hallway near the front door. Kate grabbed the handle of her suitcase and pulled it along into the laundry room that also doubled as a mud room that lead out to the garage.

She emptied all the clothes from her suitcase into the hamper before she zipped it back up, leaving nothing but some shoes, toiletries and a few nic nacs inside. She picked up her water bottle before she proceeded to carry the now almost empty suitcase up the stairs and into her bedroom.

_James would have a fit if he saw me now!_ The whole suitcase argument coming back to her and she couldn't help but smile at his antics now.

Kate entered her bedroom and almost immediately realized that the upstairs had been cleaned as well. The first clue was that the bed was made – she'd left it unmade – and everything also smelled freshly laundered too. She ran a finger over the wooden surface of her nightstand; there was not a trace of dust either.

A sudden wave of panic overcame her and in five fast strides she'd crossed the distance to the laundry hamper by her bathroom door and tore the lid off of it rather roughly. A look inside confirmed that it was empty. The lid dropped to the ground without a second thought as she practically ran into their walk in closet and turned on the light.

A quick and frantic scan over his side of the closet confirmed her fear as she moved shirt after shirt to find all of them in crisp clean condition. She tore one of them from a hanger and almost desperately held it to her nose, but the only thing she could smell was the smell of laundry soap and fabric softener.

She dropped to the floor on her knees, her chin began to quiver but she fought the urge to cry. She couldn't keep doing this over and over again. She had to stop crying over every little thing. She had to be stronger than this.

_She just had to._

So she knelt on the closet floor for a long moment, all the while clinging to his blue linen shirt that didn't smell like him anymore, trying to straighten up her thoughts, trying to make sense of it all and trying to figure out how to pull herself together and get through this.

She couldn't remember ever feeling this weak and broken before she'd gotten pregnant. Even as a child living with Wayne she'd always found strength in the knowledge that someday she'd be able to get away. Throughout her entire life she had always managed somehow to find the strength to carry on. No matter what had happened, no matter how bad things had gotten, she just pulled herself together and moved on.

So why was she feeling this way now? She should be happy right now. After all everything was going to work out, everything was going according to plan. Richard was on his way to link up with James, and get him to his hideout in Mexico by tomorrow.

So she should be singing in the shower, bubbling with joy at the knowledge that they had a chance. A real honest to god chance to make this work, raise this child together and be a real family. Something neither he nor she ever had for themselves. So why wasn't she feeling like that?

Why couldn't she shake this overwhelming feeling of doubt?

It wasn't that she doubted his love for her, she'd moved past that and she was sure in his feelings for her, but maybe it was because nothing in her life had ever gone according to plan. Her birth certificate might've said Austen, but now she knew that it should've said Janssen instead. And even though Sam had stayed married to her mother for years after she'd been born, her life had been doomed to nothing but misery from the moment she'd been conceived.

So maybe that was the inner struggle that she was currently fighting. She just couldn't actually see a happy ending for them in her future. And as much as James and her had daydreamed over the last couple of days, while lying in each other's arms, about how they'd raise this child right, how they would be better people for the sake of this kid, she had doubt that those dreams would ever really come true.

Because deep down, way down in the bottom of her tortured fragile soul she still felt that she could never be good.

_I could never have anything good!_

But James believed in her. He had enough faith in her, in them both really, that she and he could do better. To do better than their parents had done for them, and truth be told the bar wasn't set very high, but better none the less. So for him, for the faith that he had in her, she had to push all of that doubt away, once and for all. She could do this. It was only two months and then she'd have him back and all would be okay.

_This will all be over with soon, we'll leave all this shit behind us, Sweetheart, and I'll be back home with you!_

With the memory of his reassuring words still in her ear Kate managed to get up off the floor. And with a suddenly new found resolution she even managed to hang his shirt back up before she walked out of her closet with her head held high as if no tears had ever been shed at all.

Kate carried on and put everything that was left in her suitcase in its rightful place, which only took a few minutes to do. A smile crossed her face as she carefully placed the little Eifel Tower Statue on her nightstand, where she'd see it in the morning.

With a quick glance at the alarm clock on his nightstand she decided she'd have enough time to get in the shower before her food would arrive. So she hurriedly got undressed and disappeared under a welcoming stream of hot water, utterly unaware of the car that had pulled into her driveway.

X

Kate hadn't heard the doorbell ring several times, nor had she heard the loud knocks on her front door either, because the sound of the water that surrounded her had drowned all of that out. So she also hadn't heard that someone had unlocked her front door, had stepped inside her house and had been calling her name either.

But when she turned off the water, stepped out of the shower and wrapped her towel around herself she heard someone open her bedroom door. But before she even had any time to process and react, Kate heard a familiar voice call her name again.

Relieved Kate opened her bathroom door and saw none other than Cassidy stand by her bedroom door. Their eyes met, water dripping down Kate's long strands of hair, a few quick steps from both of them and the two women embraced wordlessly for a long moment, both holding each other tight when Cassidy finally broke the silence and whispered "I'm so glad you're back, Kate."

"Me too." Kate answered, not knowing what exactly she was going to tell her friend about Sawyer, but suddenly glad she wasn't alone anymore tonight in this big and empty house.

A beat or two passed before they both reluctantly pulled back, "I'm getting you all wet." Kate said embarrassed.

Cassidy waved her hand like it was no big deal, "Don't worry 'bout it." Her face contoured with concern as she clasped Kate's chin and angled it to the side. "What happened to your face?"

Kate had momentarily forgotten that with the makeup gone her slowly fading bruise was visible again. Her cheeks flushed when she met Cassidy's scrutinizing gaze, "Long story."

Changing the subject she asked, "Where's Clem?"

"At home, she's got school tomorrow."

"'Course." Kate nodded, "How did you know I was back?"

"Claire called me." The accusation in her tone of voice and look that Cassidy shot Kate couldn't be missed before she asked, "How come I didn't hear it from you?"

Kate lowered her gaze, ashamed.

Cassidy sighed, trying to read into Kate's reluctance, "So he's alive, is that it? I knew it. I knew he'd just up and leave again, that no good son of a bitch."

At that Kate's head snapped up, "No, … no, he is ... Claire didn't tell you? He is coming back."

Cassidy looked at her surprised but retorted rather skeptical, "He's been declared dead and the whole world knows about it. He's good at what he does, but he ain't that good. This is a con that even Sawyer can't pull off!"

Kate nodded, "You're right, but Benjamin Linus can."

"Linus?" Cassidy questioned, "That bug-eyed guy that showed up at your wedding uninvited?"

Kate couldn't help but smile at Cassidy's description of Ben, "Yeah, him. Let me put some clothes on, and then I'll tell you everything."

XXXXXXXXX

Sawyer threw his two green army duffle bags onto the floor inside the trailer he'd be calling home for the next couple of months and looked around, "Well, it ain't the four-seasons, but at least this time it ain't a god damn bear cage, hoss." He smirked and shot Richard a look before he added, "'suppose ya'll call that an upgrade."

Richard's face contoured with annoyance but he didn't comment on the verbal stab Sawyer was dishing out. If he'd learned anything on the long drive out to the middle of nowhere in the Mexican Desert, with James Ford in his passenger seat, was that it was pointless to get into long drawn out arguments over nothing with this man.

"No comment, huh?" Sawyer answered when Richard didn't reply, then took a few steps towards the sink and turned the knob to see if he had clean running water. To his surprise he did.

That's when Richard spoke up, "You have running water, electricity, and you should have enough supplies to last you for your stay here."

Sawyer opened the small fridge and took a peek inside, "What about some beer?" he asked after not seeing any.

Richard tossed him the keys to the rusted worn down jeep they'd both arrived in, "Nearest town is over an hour away. There's a map in the glove compartment, but you should avoid showing your face in public."

"Makes sense." Sawyer nodded in agreement and eyed the car key for a moment, "If you're leavin' your ride here with me, then how the hell 'r you gettin' outta here, Richy?"

That's when Richard glanced at his watch and quickly replied, "Someone should be here for me momentarily."

Sawyer threw the key on the counter, and folded his arms in front of his chest, "So, this is it then?"

"I suppose it is. I'll inform Kate that we're still on track. I'll be in touch when everything is set up, until then just stay put."

"No worries." Sawyer reached in his pocket and retrieved his cell phone, holding it up for Richard to see, "I'll call Freckles myself and let her know I'm okay."

Richard shook his head vehemently at that idea and took a step towards the younger man, "You can not contact Kate for any reason."

Sawyer, who had still been leaning against the counter stood up straight now, "What the hell are you talkin' 'bout? Why wouldn't I?"

Richard locked eyes with him and repeated, "You can not call her. You can not contact her in any way." He took another step closer, "All these … these different things have been set in motion. When you are going to be found alive, there's going to be suspicions. Questions that will never be answered will arise and the last thing we want … the last thing we need is for someone to look into Kate's phone records and realize that she'd been receiving phone calls from a number that went through cell towers in Mexico, right before her dead husband is found alive in Mexico." He shook his head to emphasize his words, "No contact in any shape or form with anyone involved, James."

Sawyer frowned at the thought of not even being able to hear her voice but nodded his agreement, holding the phone up again, "Then what the hell am I keeping this thing for?"

"To keep in touch with me." Richard simply stated.

Just then they heard the faint sound of a car approaching in the distance and Sawyer glanced out the window of his new trailer home before turning back towards Richard, "Guess your ride's here, hoss."

Richard nodded. They both shook hands and Richard left, leaving Sawyer standing alone in his new place.

The car disappeared, leaving nothing but a cloud of dust behind it, and Sawyer closed the front door to his new – more than humble – abode. He turned on the window air-conditioner, clearly surprised that it actually seemed to work, and slowly began to cool the place down to a more pleasant temperature.

He sat down in one of the chairs and stretched out his legs, looking around and taking a moment to take in his new home.

_A smoke and a cold beer sure'd be nice!_

He stood up again to reach deep in his jean pocket. After retrieving what he needed, he sat back down, holding the ring between his fingers and stared at it in utter silence.

It was just a simple little thing, a white-gold band with a small single stone that had lost most of its luster since he'd first found it all those years ago. It wasn't breathtaking, it really wasn't something special … no, not at all. And it didn't compare the least to the ring he'd presented her with when he'd actually popped the question.

But still this tiny banged up piece of jewelry held so much more meaning to him, because out of all the things he'd forgotten over the years, he couldn't shake the memory of how he came to have this ring.

XXXXXXX

Flashback

One thing Sawyer knew for sure was that he'd hurt her when he'd gone with John Locke and left her behind!

So he wasn't the least bit surprised or scared when she'd pointed her gun right at him. But no way would she have shot him, no way would she have pull that trigger … ever!

What had unnerved him though – rattled his comfort zone just a little – was just how long she'd kept that gun in his face. The amount of time it had taken her to finally lower the gun and with it some of her guard, because it showed him just how badly he'd hurt her. The lack of trust in him was evident in her eyes.

He'd tried to play it off with the first chance that presented itself.

_So what, I'm your prisoner? If that sorta thing turns you on._

It hadn't worked, she didn't think it was funny at all, but hey … couldn't blame a guy for trying.

Then she'd flat out asked him why he'd chosen to go with Locke, and after he'd managed to turn the inquisition around on her, she even gave him a pretty good explanation why she'd chosen to go with Jack.

_I went with Jack because I believe he can get us off this island._

'_Us off the island._' And that was the problem at hand.

And who'd better to put his fears into words then Benjamin Linus?

_James. Look at yourself. Yes, on this Island you're brave, daring, handsome, you're someone, but if you left with them, back in the real-world a low-life scam artist like you could never compete with a first class surgeon. I think Kate was really upset when you made your choice to come with us. Thank god she has Jack there to comfort-_

He'd cut that little runt off before he could finish his sentence, but the message had come across loud and clear. So with Ben's condescending words still lingering in the back of his mind, and his resolve to stay even stronger he pleaded his case to her. Proposed … sort of … something to her.

_Look around us, Freckles. We've got roofs over our heads. Electricity, showers, beds. _

_Yeah, how long, Sawyer? How long do you think we can play house? _

_Why don't we find out?_

Kate had looked back at him then with the saddest eyes he'd ever seen, but she hadn't answered him. Hadn't even bothered to say that she would think about it, the telltale silence in the room became overwhelming, so in an act of self preservation of his already tattered pride – thanks to none other than Benjamin Linus and his little speech – they'd eventually parted ways without reconciliation.

So when the news about 'them' leaving made the rounds, that same self preservation forced him to keep himself busy picking up the broken dishes off of the floor in his new place. He knew he'd screwed up. He knew he'd hurt her, but what's done was done.

He'd gone and put himself out there, served himself to her once again on a silver platter and now the ball was in her court. So he simply refused to be there, stand there with the rest of them, watching and idly waving goodbye as she left him yet again to get back to her Hero.

Instead he'd cleaned up the mess they'd made earlier while staging the scene before they'd locked Hurley into the closet down the hall for their little theatrical showdown. Then he had eaten something, found himself some beer, had randomly fished a book from the bookshelf, before he finally retreated to his room to call it a night.

The bed was comfortable and he couldn't help but wonder just for a moment what it would've been like to share this place with her. Putting his glasses on, he did his best to push any more thoughts of her out of his mind again when he opened his book and began to read instead.

'_The invention of Morel'_ was, as Sawyer quickly discovered, the story of a fugitive hiding out on a deserted island, where suddenly Tourists arrive, and he hides out of fear of being discovered.

_Huh, what do you know?_

He thought as he immersed himself into the plot of the book to keep from thinking about Kate on her way back to Jack, yet somehow everything in the story reminded him of her.

He didn't know when, but exhaustion had eventually taken over and he'd fallen asleep. A yell from Hurley woke him up – half sitting half lying in bed – with his glasses still perched up on his nose and the book still lying in his lap.

Grumpily he climbed out of bed, threw the book and glasses on the nightstand beside him, scratched his beard, rubbed the sleep from his eyes before he pulled his jeans on that he'd discarded on the floor the previous night and went to investigate what all the ruckus was about.

Sleepy eyed he walked into the kitchen and found Hurley dabbing at a big dark stain that covered the front of his shirt. "Are you trying to wake the dead?"

"Oh crap, dude, did I wake you up?" Hurley looked over at him apologetically. "I found this shirt that actually fits me, and then I end up spilling hot coffee all over it."

Sawyer skeptically looked him over, "I'd say you're using the word 'fits' a bit freely there, Butterball."

"Yeah, I know." Hurley sighed and threw the dishrag onto the kitchen counter, realizing he'd have to change back into his old sweaty shirt.

Sawyer stepped into the kitchen and looked around just as Hurley stepped out, "And where the hell did you find the coffee anyways?"

"Kate found it, but Claire actually made it." Came Hurley's simple answer as he slowly started walking towards his bedroom.

The mention of her name caught his attention, and momentarily he lost his cool when he couldn't help himself. "What do you mean, Kate found it?"

Hurley had noticed the surprise tone of his voice and stopped to turn towards his friend, realizing instantly that this was no longer a conversation about coffee, "Yeah, she crashed over at Claire's last night. You didn't know?"

He shook his head completely dumbfounded, "I thought she'd left with Sayid."

"No, Sayid left with that red-headed chick and left that Chinese guy here instead. He's our new hostage now down in the boathouse. But Kate stayed." Shrugging he simply said, "I thought you knew." Hurley watched him for a moment, noticing how his face had lit up and added, "You should go over there and say hi. I never liked coffee a whole lot, but I gotta say that was pretty good up until when I spilled it."

Sawyer smiled back at him, he just couldn't help himself. The thought that she'd actually stayed had to mean something.

Didn't it?

"I might do that." He beamed at his friend.

"Well, I'm gonna go take a nice long shower, dude. We might get attacked again, so who knows when I get another chance." Hurley announced before he started walking again, but stopped short once more to add, "Oh, before I forget, we need to think what we wanna bring to the Christmas dinner."

"Christmas dinner? How long was I out for?"

"Dude, it's December 23rd. It's Christmas in two days, and we're all having a dinner over at Locke's. Man, you're like totally out of the loop."

"Guess I missed the town hall meeting 'bout upcoming holidays." He retorted sarcastically and a bit annoyed at the realization that he'd completely lost track of what day it was.

Hurley just shrugged and finally disappeared in his room, leaving Sawyer alone with his thoughts.

Back in his bedroom he opened the closet to find something clean to wear but to no avail. Instead he found a closet full of clothing that to his best guess were about her size, and he quickly realized what an opportune moment had presented itself to him.

Fully dressed in his own clothes from the day before and on his way out of his bedroom his eyes fell on the small jewelry box that sat atop the vanity table across from the bed. Who knew what other treasures he would discover, he wondered before he stopped to have a closer look.

A couple of earrings, bracelets and necklaces', but nothing that stood out to him up on further inspection. But then in the midst of it all he found it, a ring. It took him a moment to get the ring untangled from all the other junk before he could examine it better. It didn't exactly scream Tiffany's, but it was definitely something he could work with.

Sawyer stepped back and sat on the foot of the bed, turning the ring over in his hand while he critically examined it some more. It was a thin band with a small sized rock – nothing extraordinaire – but he'd sold his fair share of junk to know that this wasn't that. This was real gold, with a small yet real diamond. This ring was in fact something.

_What the hell am I doin'?_

He suddenly tossed the ring back onto the vanity table as if the small piece of metal had branded the flesh on his fingers. He shook his head to himself. This wasn't him. He wasn't the kind of man that would look at a ring, suddenly get all gooey inside and pictured her wearing it.

No, he wasn't that kind of guy and Kate wasn't that kind of girl either.

Yet he stared at the ring for another long moment, unable to take his eyes off of it from the safe distance of the bed. It wasn't like he was thinking of proposing … or maybe he was. On second thought that notion was completely absurd. It was just a peace offering. Just a gift, and hey, Christmas was just two days away. It was all in the presentation after all. Down on one knee versus just wrapped up in a bow. It could be just a gift. It wouldn't have to mean anything. Surely Kate knew him well enough that she'd see that too, wouldn't she?

Sawyer shook his head to himself once again, stood and picked up the ring and wordlessly stuffed it in the pocket of his jeans. It was just a thing, no big deal, and he still had two days to decide whether or not to give it to her at all … and most importantly how he'd give it to her.

_Son of a bitch! Who was he kidding? He had it bad for her! He had it real bad!_

With that thought in mind he left the house and headed over to Claire's. No ulterior motives in mind, just a guy out for a hot cup of joe … at least that's what he told himself when he saw Kate sitting in a chair on Claire's front porch.

And suddenly that damn ring began to slowly, but surely burn a hole into his pocket.

X

Sawyer was in the middle of cleaning out the fridge when Hurley walked in, back in his old shirt, yet freshly showered with his hair still wet and a white towel slung over his shoulder, "I think a chick must've lived here."

Sawyer rolled his eyes at him, "You think? What gave it away?"

Either not noticing the sarcasm in Sawyers voice or simply ignoring it for the sake of conversation Hurley went on to elaborate, "Well, there's like girl stuff all over this place. Clothes, shoes, jewelry and stuff."

"I noticed." Sawyer huffed almost irritated when he was reminded of the ring once again.

Sawyer took a plate of chicken from the fridge, held it up to his nose to smell it and was just about to throw it in the garbage bin he'd moved closer when Hurley grabbed a hold of the plate and stopped him, "Whoa that's perfectly good!"

"That's perfectly rotten." Sawyer retorted.

Hurley took the plate from his grasp and placed it right back in the fridge, "Dude, there's nothing wrong with this. I know chicken."

Sawyer appeared annoyed, "Listen Hugo, there's fifty other fridges in this place just full of food poisoning. Why the hell you gotta crash with me anyway?"

Hurley frowned and thought about it for just a second. "I don't wanna live alone." Was his soft spoken answer while he watched Sawyer further investigate the contents of the fridge.

"Fine, stay. When you're pukin' up that chicken, I ain't holdin' your hair.

"Awesome. Oh, an' when Kate shows up I'll split."

Sawyer sighed as he walked over to the sink, "Kate ain't showin' up."

"Oh, what'd you do?"

Sawyer turned towards him offended, "Why you takin' her side?" When Hurley simply shrugged and raised his eyebrows, Sawyer further explained, "She got all freaked out thinkin' she might be pregnant. She's mad at me because I said 'let's hope you're not'."

A beat or two later Hurley registered what Sawyer had said, "So, you two …" An open ended question but Sawyer knew what he was asking.

So while he started to wash some dishes, Sawyer tried his best to suppress the smile when he looked back at Hurley over his shoulder, "Yes, us two."

"Well." He took a breath, "She'll forgive you dude." Hurley stepped closer until he was next to Sawyer, "Just, give her some space. She'll show up eventually."

Turning amused to his friend, Sawyer replied, "Well ain't I lucky to be bunkin' with Dr. Ruth."

Hurley gave him two encouraging pads on the back before he walked away, "You're welcome."

"You wearin' cologne?" Sawyer questioned Hurley's retrieving form.

"Maybe." Hurley said before he disappeared out of sight.

Sawyer finished the dishes in silence, pondering over what Hurley had said. She was just a few houses away, bunking with Claire.

She was still mad about the pregnancy. That much was clear when she'd flat out told him to leave.

_James, go home!_

He felt like a jerk, he knew he'd bailed on her when she was worried about being pregnant with his kid, but hell … he was no prince charming, never pretended to be and she'd known that right from the start.

He wasn't ready to take care of a kid any more then she was. But he got it, he understood why she was giving him the cold shoulder. Pregnant women died on this rock, so naturally she was scared and he'd made it ten times worse by bailing on her … he didn't need a shrink to tell him that it would take a while before she'd come to trust him again.

X

The next morning, he sat upright in bed pretending not to hear nor care when he heard the distinct sound of the front door closing … and that's when he knew that she was gone. After the night they'd spend in each other's arms, she'd gone and done it once more; Kate had left and was on her way back to Jack.

Frustrated and angry beyond words he reached for the first thing he could find and threw his book across the room, at the closed bedroom door to be exact … little too late, the small voice in his head quickly reminded him.

_No! _

Sawyer shook his head in anger. No, he wouldn't … he couldn't let her get to him like that anymore.

He hadn't done anything to be ashamed of this time around. She'd said she wasn't pregnant and he was relieved and happy about it. He'd felt like a heavy load had been lifted off of his shoulders with her revelation … never mind the fact that they weren't ready for a kid, most importantly was the fact that Kate would be fine. She wasn't going to get sick or worse … no, she was going to be fine.

So he refused to let her actions get to him any further. Simply refused to sit here and drown in his sorrow over losing her once again.

He'd practically jumped through hoops for her last night. Had helped her by distracting Locke, so that she could bust out Bruce Lee to have a little chat with Captain Bunny Killer. He'd helped her, no questions asked. He'd owed her that much. It was his way of making up for leaving her behind like he had.

But now, sitting here all alone he somehow couldn't help but wonder if he'd gotten played. He knew she wanted something from him the moment she'd appeared up at his front door. And he had even called her out on it.

_You are terrible at this, Freckles._

_Terrible at what?_

_You already said you didn't stay behind for me. So at least be woman enough to tell me you wanna use me for something._

_I wanna use you for something._

At that moment he'd felt like he'd somehow kept the upper hand, because he'd seen right through her act. But hindsight was 20/20, and suddenly he couldn't help but feel like he'd been conned just as much as Locke had. Had she shown up in his bedroom just because Locke had told her to leave in the morning? Was the sad eyes and the make out session just another ploy of hers so he'd protect her from John?

_Had the conman been conned?_

He felt angry and used – or maybe he was just hurt – but still he couldn't let himself believe that it had all just been a plan of hers, that last night had meant nothing to her. He didn't want to believe that she could be that cold … as cold as he'd been.

He chewed on that thought for a moment.

But didn't that also mean that she'd wanted to stay? Why would she have cared about being 'banished' at all if she'd no intentions of staying?

_Fuck, she had wanted to stay!_

His own mean words to her from just moments ago came back to him now with full force.

_Don't make this about me, Kate. You didn't want a kid any more than I did. You're just looking for some excuse to split and now you got one!_

Someway, somehow he'd screwed it all up again.

_What's done is done._

And with that thought in mind Sawyer swung his legs over other side of the bed, gathered his jeans off the floor and his shirt off the nightstand and got dressed.

Honest to god, in all the excitement of having her here with him, he'd all but forgotten about that damn ring, but now that he reached into his pocket and realized it's absence, a sudden wave of panic overcame him that he wasn't able to shake off. So his eyes instantly scanned the wooden floor in search of anything that sparkled before he dropped down to his knees to take a look underneath the bed. But the ring was nowhere to be found. It was just gone. Just like her it had simply vanished.

"Son of a bitch." He cursed in frustration again, before he left the room to clear his mind.

That's how he'd ended up with a bowl of dharma frosted flakes and Hurley sitting across from him, babbling on and on about this upcoming Christmas and how he'd usually spend them at home.

Sawyer welcomed the distraction that Hurley was currently providing, but when the big guy started to suggest them decorating a tree, he had chimed in with his own two cents, "No way in hell. We ain't settin' up a tree."

He took another mouthful of cereal and swallowed before he waved the empty spoon in the air along with his words, "I just cleaned this place up, so you ain't gonna drag some foliage up in here and call it a Christmas tree."

"You gotta have a tree to put the presents under." Hurley further elaborated.

Sawyer almost chocked on a mouthful of food, "Who the hell said anything about presents?"

Hurley frowned at that just for a moment, "Dude, this is Aaron's first Christmas and with Charlie gone … I just wanna do something nice for Claire, you know."

Hurley looked up and met Sawyers eyes, but he wasn't going to get sucked in again by a sad story about a fatherless child and a puppy dog look. "You wanna do something nice for her? Then why don't you drag that tree up in her house instead and leave me out of it. And besides, Aaron ain't gonna remember none of this anyways."

Hurley frowned again and pushed back his chair, "Man, you're like worse than the Scrooge."

Sawyer shot him a look, and Hurley got up to take his dishes over to the sink, "Ha." Hurley gave him a pointed look over his shoulder, "Maybe that will be _your_ nickname from now on, Scrooge."

Sawyer took the last bite, then drank the last of the milk out of the bowl before he pushed his chair back and got up himself, handing Hurley his dishes to be washed.

"Fine, I'll make you a deal. We nix the whole tree idea, but you can put my name on the card should you come across something to give to the kid." He started heading back to his room, but before he disappeared down the hallway he added, "And if you can't find anythin', we can always put a bow on that swing set out there and call it a day."

"Worst deal ever." He heard Hurley mumble as a reply, but couldn't hear what else he said when he closed his bedroom door behind him.

He picked up his book off of the floor and took it over to the bed with him. Determination crossed his features. She would be back. Jack would screw up sooner or later, and she would be back and that was that.

He adjusted the pillows behind his back for more comfort, put on his glasses and tried to find the page he'd been on when Kate had stopped by the night before. He'd quickly found it and gave the book his full attention now, still trying to put Kate out of his mind.

So the fugitive on the deserted island was struggling with mixed emotions when he found himself falling in love with one of the tourists he was actually hiding from.

He desperately wanted to tell her his feelings, but an anomalous phenomenon kept them apart.

Unsatisfied with where this story was going, he tossed the book back onto the nightstand and sighed frustrated.

This bed smelled like her!

_How could he possibly not think about her when the whole god damn bed smelled like her?_

Yet Sawyer made no move to leave the comfort of his bed. More the opposite, cause he scooted down, rearranged the pillows around once again to actually lie down and dwell in the sheets that held the lingering smell of Kate.

Just then, as he rolled onto his side to get more comfortable, he felt something small but hard dig into his side. He lifted up enough to blindly run his hand over the sheet in search of the culprit, and immediately found it.

Sawyer stared at the ring in his hand for a long moment and smiled before he shoved it back into his pocket again.

He closed his eyes, smiling as he drifted off to sleep for a late morning nap with her on his mind, and mumbled to himself, "How 'bout that?"

_Yeah, she'll come back!_

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**End Notes:** Please leave a quick review or comment to let me know what you all thought … good, bad or neither? Thanks for reading! xoxo

P.S. Check out my Skatemanips at www dot skatersince2004 dot deviantart dot com/


	10. I'd stop if I could

Author's Notes: Thank you for reviewing and reading my story. Hope you like this new chapter … I'm already working on the next one.

P.S. Please don't hate me!

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A few days later – October 2008

She waited in her car in Claire's driveway, hoping that her friend would hurry out before the paparazzi would show up. She had her hair in a low ponytail; sunglasses poised on her nose while she glanced over her shoulder and down the street again to see if anyone had followed her the short distance from her house to Claire's.

Just then Claire stepped around the corner and after seeing Kate waive her hand in a 'hurry up' kind of manner she quickly climbed into the passenger side of Kate's Volvo. Her seatbelt hadn't clicked into place yet when Kate sped out of the drive.

"Miles can watch him for the rest of the day?" Kate asked without as much as a greeting.

Claire retorted back, clearly amused, "Well, hi to you too."

Kate glanced at her for a moment before focusing her attention back at the road, "Sorry. Hi."

"Yeah, Miles said he'll watch him. You plan on spending all day shopping?" Claire asked a bit surprised.

"No, actually." Kate shook her head and looked over at her friend again, biting her lip, before checking the rearview mirror again for any sign of a tail.

Claire raised her eyebrows and studied her friends profile for a long moment, "We're not going shopping, are we?"

Kate gave her a half-hearted smile that didn't reach her eyes, "There's something I have to tell you."

"O - kay." Claire answered dragging out the word, a bit unsure where this conversation was going.

Just then they stopped at a red light and Kate could actually look at her for longer than a second at a time, so she turned to her friend and said, "I wanted to hold off until James was back to tell everyone, but … but then I realized I didn't want to … I just couldn't do this on my own, so that's why you're here. I have to go see a doctor outside L.A. because … "

"Oh god. You're not sick again, are you?"

"No." Kate shook her head, and smiled, "We're having a baby. I'm pregnant."

It took a moment for Claire to realize what her friend had said, but once the initial shock wore off, Claire was ecstatic. "Oh, I'm so happy for you guys. I mean, wow, he'll be home soon and you're having a baby."

The traffic light turned green and Kate stepped on the gas. "I feel so much better now that I told you."

"What did Sawyer say?" Claire couldn't help her curiosity, "He knows, doesn't he?"

Hearing his name caused her heart to ache, because she missed him so much, but despite it all Kate smiled warmly at the memory of them sitting at the beach and staring dumbfounded at the positive pregnancy test, "He's real happy about it. More so then I thought he'd be."

Claire smiled widely, unable to contain her happiness at the news, and gave Kate a critical once over, "I knew there was something different about you."

Kate laughed, "You did not."

"I did so, you can ask Miles. I told him something's different, I swear, but we chucked it up to you just being happy he was coming home and all, but now …" Claire gave her friend a pointed look, "… Now I know where that glow is coming from."

"Glow?" Kate asked incredulous.

"Yeah." Claire looked at her again, "You look great."

"I don't feel great, but thanks." Kate answered.

Claire's smile faded and her forehead wrinkled in concern, "Morning sickness?"

Kate shook her head, "Not really, it's more like ... I don't know, I'm just anxious I guess."

"About?" Claire asked still looking concerned.

Kate glanced at her again, "Everything." She sighed, "Honestly, I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"Miles got Aaron all day, we got nothing but time." Claire quipped back, urging her friend to share some of her burden.

"You really wanna know?" Kate looked at Claire curiously.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't care, Kate." Claire reassured her. "And I hope you know by now that your secrets are safe with me."

Kate nodded and tears welled up threatening to spill, she pushed her sunglasses up just long enough to wipe the tears away and swallowed the lump in her throat before she began, "Well, you remember when Michael led Jack, Hurley, James and me out to the others and we got captured?"

Claire nodded. "Yeah?"

"Well, that's kind of how it all started …"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Claire was the one driving on their way back from the doctor's office and a nice dinner out. The baby was fine, Kate was fine. Both were in good health and she had more proof to show for it.

She eyed the sonogram picture once again, and couldn't hide the smile from her face while doing so.

"Can I ask you something?" Claire's cautious voice broke the silence that had filled the car.

Kate looked over at her, "Sure. What's up?"

"How's Cassidy taking the news?"

Kate looked at her surprised, "What?"

Claire glanced at her, "The baby. I mean, is she happy for you."

Kate tucked the sonogram back in the envelope the doctor's office had provided and cleared her throat, "I haven't told her yet."

Claire was surprised, "Really?"

"You're the only one who knows, and I'd like to keep it that way … at least for now." Kate added.

Claire glanced at her again before she focused her attention on the road ahead, "Wow, I'm honored, I guess. It's just …" Claire paused and Kate turned her full attention to her.

"What?" she inquired.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Kate, after all we've been through you are the best friend I have … I mean even all my old friend that I grew up with, they just don't understand … They couldn't possibly understand. That is one of the reasons why I stayed in L.A. to begin with, you know? They –."

Kate interrupted her, "I know it's hard to get close to someone when you feel like you have to lie about everything."

"Exactly." Claire agreed, " … but see, Cassidy knows what's going on, and as much as I'm honored that you'd trust me with these news, that you'd share this with me … I'm just a bit surprised that it's me and not her, you know?"

Kate took in a deep breath and thought her answer over in her head, "Same reason why you were my Maid of honor and not her."

Claire gave her a questioning look.

"Well …" Kate sighed, "… you haven't slept with the groom." She solemnly answered.

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Somewhere in Mexico

The dust hadn't settled around him just yet when he cut the engine, and with a freshly lit cigarette hanging from his lips he climbed out of the rusty old jeep Richard had left him with. Walking to the back of the vehicle to open it, he retrieved a few brown bags of groceries and carried them inside before he came back out and brought his newly acquired VCR and cables with him.

He put the perishables into the fridge first, opened himself a cold beer and lit yet another smoke before he got to work.

After disconnecting the DVD player from the 20 inch TV he began to attach the banged up VCR, hoping that despite the clearly visible wear and tear it would still work. It had taken him most of the day to find the damn thing, so when he plugged it in, put in the tape, finally hit play and Kate's face actually appeared on the screen before him he let out a sigh of relief.

Pulling the cigarette from his mouth, he exclaimed "Son of a bitch" to none other than himself when he grabbed the remote and turned up the volume just as Kate stroked his hair back and reassured the unconscious him lying in the bunk bed that he'd be okay.

James fell back into the chair with a sigh, unable to hide the emotions from his face that the sight and sound of her caring for him on that screen evoked in him. After taking a last long drag from his cigarette, he quickly extinguished it in the small bowl he'd repurposed into an ashtray on the small table beside him, before he pulled yet another one out of the pack and quickly lit it.

He leaned back into the chair, getting comfortable as he propped his feet up on the coffee table before him, alternating the smoke with a drink from his cold beer and seemed finally content while he watched Kate nurture him back to health on the screen before him.

XXXXXXXX

The coffee table was overturned, the small table that had been beside him had gotten a kick, broken dishes and beer bottles scattered the floor along with everything else that had gotten spilled when James had lost his cool just a few moments ago.

He pushed the door open so fast and so hard that it bounced back at him after hitting the side of the trailer as he almost desperately left the confined space that seemed to be restricting his breathing at the moment.

He took in a deep breath before his face visibly contoured to reflect all the anger and pain coursing through him at the moment.

"SON OF A BITCH" he roared angrily into the darkness that surrounded him.

_What the hell did I do? How could I do something like that to her?_

All his life he'd been hunting Sawyer, the real Sawyer … and yes, somewhere along the way he'd turned into just that. A conman that took advantage of trusting women, – and inevitably their husbands – whom were stupid enough to fall for his charade.

He'd blamed it all on Sawyer.

Every single thing. Every event which had led him down that road. Every con he'd pulled, Sawyer was to blame for it.

He was the reason his parents were dead. Sawyer was the reason James had turned into an orphan, so after his uncle had died of cancer, his grandparents too old and no one else in the extended family willing to take him on, he'd blamed Sawyer for bouncing from foster home to foster home until the day he turned eighteen and was no longer the government's problem.

Sawyer and his greed were to blame, when James had gotten himself into trouble – owing the wrong crowd some money – and with no family to lend him a dime he did the only thing he could think of. The only thing he'd been obsessing about since that fateful night. He turned into Sawyer. It had been easier then he'd imagined, and it sort of scared him just how quickly he'd gotten real good at it too.

Yet every time he'd walked away with a suitcase full of cash from some trusting couple, all the guilt and blame he might've felt vanished because he projected all of that back onto the man that had ruined his life instead. But …

… but somewhere deep down, in the back of his mind he couldn't help but think that maybe it hadn't been all Sawyer. Maybe the small boy that was hiding under that bed on that fateful evening just wanted to prove to himself and the world that this could've happened to anyone. He wanted to prove that his momma wasn't any more gullible then the women he'd conned. And his daddy wasn't any more of a fool than all those morons that had handed their hard earned cash over to him after only a meeting or two.

So when he stood in the darkness outside his trailer now, he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, because he'd thought that the lowest point of his life had been when he'd stepped into the role of Sawyer and had worn the get-up like a second skin … but no it wasn't.

Now he knew that the lowest was when he'd wrapped his hands around Kate's neck and had tried to murder her, just moments after unconsciously confessing his love for her to Jack.

Wasn't that what everyone had said time and again to excuse his father's actions? How his daddy had loved his momma so much, he just couldn't bear the thought of another man having been with her.

_Hell … guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!_

Kate … now it suddenly all made sense to him. How desperate she was to get her hands on that tape while they'd been caught in that net, wanting to destroy it so he'd never see and know what he'd done … what he'd almost succeeded in if she hadn't fought him off like a hellcat under attack.

Mixed emotions filled him with an overwhelming force, when gratitude and anger were raging a war on each other within him.

She'd wanted to spare him the immense guilt that he felt; he could see that now and understood that too.

But in the same breath he was furious with her for keeping it from him all this time.

He quickly turned and staggered – like a drunk – back into the trailer, grabbed his cell phone from the counter and without giving it a second thought he dialed her number with shaking hands as he went back to the door and sat on the metal stoop, staring into darkness while awaiting that first ring in his ear.

But the ring never came. Instead all he heard was a robotic sounding voice telling him that this number – her number – was no longer in service. Quickly he dialed their home phone and got the same message.

"Richard!" He spat the name out like a curse.

_Had that son of a bitch gone and changed her number?_

Angry he tried his best to remember Claire's number and when it rang he hoped that he'd gotten it right.

"Hello." Answered a sleepy sounding voice on the line and James let out the breath he'd been holding.

"Claire?" he asked to reassure himself that it was really her.

"Sawyer!" she shrieked into the phone with so much relief in her voice … clearly she was wide awake now.

"Yeah." He huffed, some of his thunder gone.

"Oh my god." He could hear her voice breaking on the last word, "Kate told me everything, but it's still so good to hear your voice." She paused and he didn't know what to say, then she added, "We all miss you so much. Aaron won't stop asking about you, he doesn't really understand the whole dead thing yet, and I can't wait to tell him that the police made a mistake and that you are alive. We're all on pins and needles waiting for you to come home."

The mentioning of Aaron and how much he was hurting, made him think of his daughter, "How's Clem holdin' up?"

Claire hesitated, "She's got her good and bad days. Right after you died they had some reporters harassing Cassidy and her, but it calmed down. Cassidy's still mad, but that's no surprise really."

"Are they bothering Freckles too?" He wondered how she was doing.

"Yeah, some days, but she has gotten pretty good at avoiding them." That's when Claire changed the subject on him, "We saw the baby today."

"You what?" He spat back unsure if he'd heard her right.

"The baby." She repeated. "Kate had her first doctor appointment today, she was scared to go alone, so she told me and I went with her. I'm so happy for you guys."

He was dumbfounded, and his anger had disappeared altogether when he'd asked, "Is she alright? The baby …?" the words died down on his tongue.

"Yeah, she's great, they're great. The doctor said everything was looking good. From what Kate had told her and after the ultrasound, she estimated that Kate's almost fourteen weeks along, starting her second trimester. Her due date is April fifth next year. I'm so excited for you guys!"

"Fourteen weeks? That can't be right. She ain't even showing yet, I just saw her about a week ago." He started to backtrack in his head, his conversation with Jack coming back to him because he was just shocked to hear that she was already this far along.

"She's not really showing. She still fits in all her clothes, but she did say that her jeans are starting to feel way too tight."

"Fuck." James cussed in awe. "She'll be really showin' by the time I get back." He'd known all along that she would but hearing it from someone else somehow made it all the more real.

"Yeah, she will." Claire agreed, "But she's planning to keep it all a secret for as long as she possible can."

"That makes sense." A vision of reporters and paparazzi pushing a visibly pregnant Kate around appeared before his eyes and it pissed him off tremendously.

_God, I need to get home!_

"So what is going on, how much longer is it gonna take?"

"'bout two more months, Mamacita." Brought back to reality he remembered why'd called in the first place, "I tried to get a hold of Kate, but her numbers changed."

"Yeah, Richard suggested it, because -."

"I know, he gave me the same damn speech when he dropped me off."

Claire's voice became hushed, "I think we shouldn't even be talking either."

"Probably." James agreed. "I should go."

"Yeah." Claire whispered back, "Do you want her number? You know, just in case."

James chuckled at that and said, "Just in case I'm dumb enough to ruin this whole god damn plan by wanting to hear her voice. No thanks, I'll pass. The less I know the less damage I can do with it."

"Alright. You know I have to tell her that you called. You want me to tell her anything?"

He stood, feeling a lot calmer after talking to Claire, padded his chest with his free hand in search for his pack of smokes and found it. "Hold on a tick." He huffed while he fished out a cigarette and quickly lit it. Feeling the smoke fill his lungs instantly calmed him some more.

He exhaled and held the cigarette to his side, small red speckles flinging through the darkness, "Tell her … tell her I can't wait to –." He stopped, thought about it, then finally said, "Tell my Freckles that she ain't gonna have to worry 'bout her clothes fittin', 'cause when I get back she ain't gonna need any for a while."

Claire laughed into the phone. "Too much information."

Sawyer chuckled as he took another drag from his smoke, "Go on, tell her." He could just picture Kate rolling her eyes, god how he missed that. "And tell her I love her."

"I will." Claire reassured him. "Take care Sawyer. It was so good to hear your voice. I can't wait 'till everything goes back to normal around here."

"Me too, Claire, me too. Bye."

"Bye." Claire answered and heard him hang up.

She sat up in bed and looked at her alarm clock. It was close to midnight, but she knew that if this was Charlie and her, she'd wanna know, so without giving it another thought she dialed Kate's new number and waited patiently for her friend to pick up.

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2 weeks later

Patsy Cline's voice echoed throughout the bedroom, and Kate swayed her hips to the beat. Still in her pajamas – charcoal gray yoga pants and one of James' t-shirts – she was looking through her clothes in search of anything that would fit but also conceal her slowly growing baby bump, when her phone rang.

She dropped the clothes in her hand onto the foot of her bed, turned the volume down on her iPod radio before she took the receiver and sat down on her bed, "Hello."

"Kate?" Claire asked with concern in her voice. "Are you okay?"

Kate leaned back against her pillow, her forehead in wrinkles, not understanding what had Claire so worried about her all of a sudden. "Yeah. Sure. Why wouldn't I be okay?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and Kate immediately snapped to attention when Claire didn't answer. "Claire, what is going on?"

She could hear Claire sigh before she spoke, "I'll be right over, just give me a couple minutes to –."

"Claire?" Kate cut her off and begged, "Just tell me what is happening."

"I can't." Claire proclaimed almost desperately, "Not this, not over the phone. I'll be there in a few."

Kate heard the phone click and hung up herself. Perplexed she sat on her bed and wondered what had Claire so rattled and worried. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

With the music turned down, she suddenly became aware of the noise outside of her house and stepped over to the window to take a peek. Just like she'd assumed, she found paparazzi camped out on her front lawn.

_What the hell is going on?_

She walked downstairs, made sure that all the curtains were drawn, walked in the living room and turned on the TV, hoping that would shed some light on things.

She didn't have to flip through the channels for long when she saw the news.

_Conman still conning!_

Kate stood frozen in place in front of her couch with the TV remote still in her hand while she couldn't tear her eyes away from the TV.

In a grainy black and white hotel surveillance video there he was. James – her presumably dead husband – with his arms around a slender scantily clothed big busted blond disappearing into a hotel room, but not before looking over his shoulder to ensure that no one was watching him.

So entranced and equally shocked by the TV report, she didn't hear Claire use her spare key and enter her house until the blond stepped into the room.

"Oh god." Claire's voice startled her and Kate snapped around to see her friend stand in the doorframe. "I'm so sorry."

She rushed over to Kate and the two women embraced in a hug just when Kate's chin began to quiver and she realized that this was real. This was actually happening. This actually happened.

_He cheated on me!_

She actually voiced her thought, "He cheated on me. James cheated on me."

"Come." Claire urged as she pulled back, "You should sit down."

Kate settled on the couch, pulling her knees to her chest, tears streamed down her face, she looked at Claire and shook her head "I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe he'd do that after everything we've been through."

Claire turned the TV off and sat down beside her, "I know." Claire reached out and put her hand on Kate's. "I honestly don't know what to say. I just don't understand it."

Kate's eyes snapped back to Claire's, "They said this was in Vegas. He went there with Miles …"

"Yeah, I already grilled Miles this morning. He said that Sawyer stayed longer at the bar, and he didn't see him until breakfast the next morning, but they had separate rooms. Miles said everything seemed fine, at breakfast and on the drive home too. He had no clue about any of this."

Kate buried her face in her hands and sobbed, "We had this … this stupid fight about him and Miles taking that trip to Vegas."

"I know, I remembered that too." Claire said with sad eyes. "I'm so sorry, Kate."

Kate cried on Claire's shoulder and they both sat in silence for a long moment until Claire broke the silence, "What are you gonna do?"

"What?" Kate asked through sobs.

"What are you gonna do when he gets back?"

Kate wiped at her face and shook her head in utter despair, "I don't know."

"Do you still love him?" Claire said, as if it was the most normal thing to ask.

Kate took in a deep breath as if she had to think about it for a moment, and another tear rolled down her cheek when her eyes locked with Claire's once again, "I'd stop if I could."

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End Notes: Please leave a review or a comment to let me know what you think! Thank you so much for reading! xoxo


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